Addicted to buying baby clothes-please don't judge

[Bettyhop]

My little one is 2 months old and since he was born I feel that I've become addicted to buying him clothes. In the last 2 days I've spent over £200. This is money I just don't have and I'm transferring money from my savings to cover the gap. His wardrobe and drawers are full to bursting and he has so many things he's never worn. I'm on maternity leave so money is tight.
I feel that I'm a young mum and have a point to prove that my little boy is happy and well looked after. I also feel really unhappy with my own appearance and I feel that I'm trying to compensate by always having him look lovely and receive lots of compliments. Please don't judge me as I'm feeling very low and now really skint too. I have written this after filling my online shopping basket yet again with things he does not need but are in the sale and very cute. I have written this to distract myself from pressing buy. Has anyone been in a similar situation or can offer any practical advice? Thank you🌻

If you can’t afford it/shouldn’t be spending, it is best not to be looking.

If the first thing you think is “cute!”, you probably don’t need it.

I notice when babies seem content & parents handle them gently-
when toddlers seem happy, and smile & wave at strangers-
when parents are mindful of & kind to their children.

It’s not about cute or brands- I notice if their clothing is reasonably clean and is appropriate for the weather.

Of course I totally appreciate all of what you have written however this is not a rational process of spending that I am experiencing. It is a compulsion to buy clothes. I was looking for support perhaps from someone who has experienced something similar which from the tone of your post I sense you haven't.

Give your card to your partner if you have one / put it in water and in the freezer.

You know you don’t need more clothes, you know what the issue is, channel all that great energy into planning lovely days with your son or things you want to do on mat leave.

As you say this is a compulsion and so really for the best advice you need to see your doctors. Could it be linked to pnd? Obviously I don't know I'm only guessing.

I really like buying clothes for my boy but I only buy what he actually needs and at the moment I have to wait another 6 months before I can get him some more stuff. That's obviously healthy and you know in your heart that your shopping habits are not healthy esp if you are spending money you don't have.

Were you addicted to purchasing clothes for yourself before the baby or is this a new thing? Just thinking you might have an addiction. Sounds like you do and are compensating for the way you feel about your appearance.

Think about why steps you can put in place. Why don’t you start with giving yourself a budget and carry that cash as and when the baby needs the clothes to shop in stores for the babies clothes. I think online/card doesn’t help.

If that doesn’t work can you ask someone else to purchase babies clothes? You give them the money and they buy essentials.

How is your mental health in general since baby?

Can you return the items you've purchased, have they still got labels on?

It's really positive that you've acknowledged you've got a problem. Speak to the health visitor or your GP, they might offer some therapeutic support such as CBT or counselling, and they can also assess whether it might be part of a wider mental health condition.

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. I don't know if this will help but I got a great deal of pleasure from crocheting cute little hats, clothes, blanket, and even toys for my baby. There are loads of gorgeous free crochet and knitting patterns online and how to tutorials. And because it takes time to make each item you're not quickly overspending all your money. When I've completed an item I get that same retail therapy feeling and also a sense of accomplishment too. Do you think taking a little hobby where you make things for your baby might distract you from shopping and help you feel better?