Am I depressed?

[user1494101503]

I don’t think I am. I’m hoping a lot of people feel this way.
I suffered PND and it lasted about a year.
My child is four years old now and starting school in September. I spend my days not knowing what to do with her and how to occupy her making the day extremely long. She goes to preschool and we also do other clubs. She is an only child and I find she needs my attention all the time and is no good independently playing. I am tired All the time and cannot wait to go to bed on an evening very often going to bed before 9 o’clock. I’m snappy all the time and crave alone time.
To tell you the truth I hate playing with my child And find it extremely tedious. I adore my child but it’s so full on. I’m not having any more children as I do not want to suffer from postnatal depression again. I’m a good mum and I do lots with her. I just don’t enjoy it.
I just want to read a book that doesn’t include pictures!
I have to plan something every single day and I’m not very good at staying at home trying to find stuff to do. Another thing I get very upset and stressed when my house is untidy. I also suffer from separation anxiety from her. So if I’m not looking after her im constantly worrying I’m worried she’s going to be kidnapped- I know it sounds crazy doesn’t it? It’s like I crave alone time But also don’t cope very well when I have it
Does this sound like depression to you? Or am I just burnt out? I’m happy to go to the doctors if it is depression but if lots of other people say they also feel like this then at least that will make me feel a bit better and Maybe I’m not depressed. My daughter starts school in September do you think this will help?

You are certainly stressed and that can lead to depression if you aren't depressed already!
You don't say what, if any, support you have? Partner? Family?
I suffered from PND after my first child and although I thought I was over it a year later, I really wasn't because I had never had any real treatment or help.
Tell someone how you feel like your GP or call a mental health support line in your area for advice.

I have family but they are busy so I don’t ask for help often- only if it’s an emergency.
My mum is disabled so finds it very difficult to look after her for me.
My husband is supportive but works a lot.

Well you work a lot too! Always ask for help if you need it. At least talk to your husband about it and your family too! Don't moan to them, just be honest and tell them how you feel.
If you can't do that then speak to your GP.
Bless you, you shouldn't feel alone with this. You deserve to be looked after too.

I hear you OP!
Not sure, if you depressed, maybe just fed up with a monotony of your current situation.

I've used to be like this, had very similar thoughts, and all I wanted in the evening is just be in bed by 9.

My children are slightly older, but still, I can sympathise very much.

What helped me was Sertraline. I only take a small dose (50mg/day) but it changed almost everything.

My thoughts are clearer, I enjoy life again, the anxiety (almost) disappeared.

Worth a try, unless you against medication.

Hope you will feel better soon.

I was feeling very similar with my 4 year old DD last year when she was in a private nursery a couple of days a week and at home for the rest, she seemed very clingy for my attention and unable to busy herself and I didn't find it that enjoyable tbh. January this year she started pre-school 5 days per week 9-3 and it's the stimulation she needed and the break that I needed of the endless entertainment! She also starts reception in September and I'm so glad because I think she's ready and was getting a bit bored at home with me! So I do think it will be easier once your DD starts school. Perhaps you can see the GP anyway just to talk it all through and have them give you their opinion, especially if you have had PND in the past, you don't want to let that escalate if you're finding yourself having similar feelings of low mood and irritation.