I can’t stop buying food!

[Hopefullynottheorangecreme]

I’ve posted this in the eating disorders section but I feel that as I’m now not struggling with an active eating disorder it may be more eating disorder/mental health related and just could really do with the advice and that section doesn’t appear to be very active.
I hope that’s ok.
All of my adult life my weight and eating has been a struggle. I’ve been overweight, I’ve been underweight. I’ve struggled with bulimia both vomiting and laxative abuse. And I’ve restricted and starved to the point of being underweight.
I am now for the first time in my adult life pretty content to just be. I got myself some professional help as I was so alone with it all and it has always been something I kept very well hidden and felt very uncomfortable about and it really has helped.
There are times when I want to binge and times when I want to restrict but I am now using other distractions.
My only issue now is that I spend money on food that we don’t need SO OFTEN.
I’m hugely against food waste so it all gets eaten eventually especially as I have 2 hungry growing boys and have people over regularly to eat.
But for example this week I said I would only buy lunchbox bits in (so around a £15 spend) as we have a freezer full of food, food cupboards about to burst plus other boxes of crisps/treats in cupboards tucked away for weekends. I’ve ended up spending
Around £120 on food between different shops to the point I’ve struggled fitting it into the cupboards, fridge-freezer.
I’m so embarrassed by this as it’s so greedy to buy unnecessarily when many people struggle for food but I just can’t stop!
I used to hide high calorie foods in a big bag and always have it full when I was struggling and depending what was my issue at the time it was for different reasons.
If I was binging/purging it would be to binge on and if restricting it was a test to myself to know I could have my favourite foods to hand but never eat them (again I’m very embarrassed about this).
I think part of the excessive shopping is because I fear a disaster happening, having no money and not being able to feed my children and also I just fear food running out in general I think but this is ridiculous now.
I have enough food in the house to not need shop most of summer so I intend to try but I just was hoping for some advice or thoughts from anyone who has ever been the same or similar to this I suppose?

Maybe you could use some organization ideas/rules to control the shopping— items being limited to the number that fit in a dedicated space (no more shoes beyond what the shoe rack holds- or cereal on a certain shelf), or the amount usually being used (enough bin bags for two months- or one container of mustard in use & one in the cupboard), etc.

Would it help you to meal plan & also make a list; anything you see in store that you fancy can go on a next week's maybe list, to be reviewed when preparing list for next week's shop. But no impulse purchases allowed on the day.

I am thinking that's the kind of thing we did when I was a member of OA. Create a situation that takes away as much as possible any short-notice decision making.

Cakeandchampagne that’s probably a good idea but I do need to be realistic with it as I tend to find space until you couldn’t fit in one more thing even if you tried! (All fridge,freezer and cupboards!) but if I allow 1 layer of foods in the cupboards maybe and then no stacking in the fridge and a freezer that you can actually see what’s in there without emptying the draws... thank you for the suggestion!

lljkk I do meal plan but then I overbuy from my original plan. I can often stick to my plan/list in the main shop and then I’m off to different shops all week buying more food!
It’s almost impulsive, if I walk past a supermarket I can’t stop the “need” to go in and buy some food to put away!
Is OA overeaters anonymous? Sorry if it’s not, I’m just putting 2 and 2 together (hopefully not getting 5!)
I need to take my choice away when it comes to buying food but as I’m on my own with my children all of the shopping and spending is in my control.
I also don’t overeat the food I buy, (I have done in the past) But now I tend to just keep it in the house and then feed feed feed everyone else. My own children, my partner and partners daughter when they’re here, my children’s friends, anyone else that comes around.... It makes me happy to feed others well I don’t really know why.
I just need to rein in the food spending and the compulsiveness of needing to always buy food as I know I’m using it as some sort of distraction from something and also financially I could be putting the money I’m spending to such a better use!

OA = Overeaters Anon, yes.
It might help you to have some kind of peer support, anyway. The more you talk about this stuff, the less it niggles at you from the inside.