I'm at a loss and exhausted

[MirrorHope]

I'm just feeling really hopeless.

Work: I work part-time in a pressurised sales type job. Because I'm so experienced I'm allowed to work part time but in reality I've got the same targets and pressures as a full time person and I'm just trying to squeeze it in- my boss doesn't 'do' emotion and actually why should he? I keep
things quite matter of fact with him and he knows I'm at capacity and knows he can't add to my workload. In his eyes I'm harder on myself than he is on me.

Home: I just feel like I'm chasing my tail constantly the house needs decluttering. My head feels so full because I see mess! I'm actually good at throwing stuff out or giving it away when I have time but I just don't have time.

I have a cleaner and she keeps me sane.

I do all the house admin, all the child admin.

My husband does the clothes washing, gardening, bins, he also cooks 2-3 times a week and he gets up with the kids in the morning.

Health: I injured my foot and been unable to exercise. I'm starting up again and feel really deflated. I have an under active thyroid and I'm always exhausted. I'm over weight and I over eat.

Mental health: I suffer from anxiety and I'm sure I'm depressed. I'm constantly fatigued, second guessing myself , I think the world is against me. I'm irritable and always defensive.

I feel like I can't cope anymore. I have no headspace and I'm not good at putting myself first.

Help! Will anti depressants help me feel more positive and give me more energy?

I'm wondering similar things hence similar post just now. I'm sorry you're struggling. It's a lonely exhausitng place to be. Hope someone comes by with advice soon - I might borrow it...

If you feel as if you have no space or time you gave to make it

Work : you are part time , talk to your boss about your targets , they should be proportional to your hours

Home : if you can afford it double your cleaners hours , possibly some ironing too
Batch cook , saves time on your nights to cook when you have something already done
Throw out 5 things a day , pick them up on your way to work and drop at a supermarket clothing / shoe / book bin or charity shop

Get your shopping delivered

Get your children to help even little ones can have ‘jobs’

Ask your doctor to check your medication , maybe your thyroxine needs upping

You sound close to burnout , so take care of yourself first

@Jacksback yes I feel totally on edge. I've just finished my period - usually my mum/friends will ask if I'm on/due on.

I'm kind of tipping.

I know what my expects but at the same time I don't know if I can keep up even part time. He's trying to recruit to help me and now I'm anxious I'll have to train someone up! With what time?!

Thyroxine yes I've booked an appointment it's a couple of weeks away but I have a slot.

Mentally I think I might consider counselling.

@changeofname0987 to you too

If your boss is recruiting then he already knows your work load is too high . You need to have a talk about your responsibilities and workload ASAP . Are you due any holidays ? Can you take a week off to catch your breath ?

I know that tipping feeling , try to step back
The world will still turn you know 💐

@Jacksback my boss he's recruiting as we are at capacity and missing business. I had something I missed today as in business we could have had but it's like saying to all the BMW garages in the region you've missed business cos X garage has sold a BMW and why didn't you... we all need competitors. We just know we could win more business if we had more heads but very few people specialise in my type of sales so we end up training people. Also all my work is recorded as we time record so he knows I'm literally drowning. Just fingers crossed we get someone competent and super bright who can pick it up easily. He has dropped his standards as he's desperate to get help for me. Sounds big headed I know I don't mean it like that. Targets he said I don't need to hit full time target but I kind of need to to earn commission - sadly my commission threshold is not pro rata - but of course my basic salary is.

I'm getting back into the gym that will help. Although I probably pushed myself too hard yesterday.

I know I couldn't cope as a SAHM. My cleaner is so expensive. £15 an hour and I'm not sure I could afford another hour but I may have to!

Deffo need to get better at food prep and meal planning. Also need to keep weekends a bit quiet but it's always full of family events, parties, kids parties feel very over-scheduled. But part of me feeling like me is with family and friends.

Not due any hols I need a break though desperately - no headspace

Your life sounds like my life, too many balls to juggle and scared drop one. In fact mines been like that for years! I’m now signed off with burnout.
Make a to do list just to get clarity. Can you get any grandparents to habe the kids at all for a day or more? And explain going to spend day decluttering as feeling overwhelmed at the moment or swop with another mum and take each other’s kids out for a day?
Hopefully now it’s summer they can play in garden more and yiu can potter about clearing up.
I think if you did make the effort to batch cook healthy food you would feel a bit better. I’ll cook 4 jacket pots in oven then heat up in mircowave and have for lunch with tuna sweet corn or beans.
Even something little like tidying your underwear drawer give you a bit of boost.
As for work just be careful my job is in the legal field with time recording and deadlines and it’s so easy to get caught up constantly trying to prove self but the reality is yiu CAN only do so much and sounds like you are doing amazing and you and your husband are great team.
Hang in there have a day at the beach or park and just try and give yourself a little break.

Oh just re read about over scheduling. I got caught up in 2 many after school activities try and stick to 1 or 2. Yiur kids are younger than mine and they don’t go on forever gradually it’s just best friends. Could you get friendly with some of school mums in a what’s app chat and take turns in dropping all kids there and picking up? This helped me tons. X

Thank you!! You know I was just thinking about this thread.

So what's changed - well summer holidays for one!! My husband is off next week with the kids and I'm away with work for two days but staying with a friend. I actually think that will be some welcome headspace on that front.

We've employed someone new - a trainee but I helped interview her and she's flipping amazing I know she'll pick up stuff ASAP.

I'm forming a closer bond with my manager and he's really seeing where he can help me! He cleared my inbox last week!! He literally imported the lot into his inbox and did loads of action for me - well action, delegate, delete!

He also helped to resource on one of my projects which is progressing because of what he did and he arranged a couple of meetings for me which needed doing which I've completed and we've retained the business.

At home - I've started asking other mums for help.

I've decided to stop being so hard on myself.

I have some blood tests due but turns out I do have low Iron and B12 so I've started supplementing. I've added in Vit D.

Friday is my day off but I think it works for me to do about 30 mins work on a Friday after school run just so I'm not overwhelmed for Monday.