Has anybody been diagnosed with BPD?

[Iovestruck]

I went to my GP today as I've been suffering with really bad mood swings. Between an hour and a couple of days, I'll be being severely depressed, pretty much suicidal (but without planning, just generally thinking I'd be better off dead). And then I could feel relatively normal, or I'll have a period of euphoria - generally hyper and very happy, talkative and impulsive.

I recently graduated with a degree in psychology and have worked in the MH sector, so I know this presentation suggests BPD. Though, I told the GP that I knew this, but I'm never particularly angry. Or clingy. And nobody (not my boss, or my family) would ever think I had a personality disorder. I think it's a possibility, but I definitely don't fit every symptom.

She asked me what I wanted when I made the appt. I said I really didn't want antidepressants as my mood is alright over 50% of the time, but I think I could do with some counselling. Although I function well (I hold down a decent enough job and am a single parent), I do feel in turmoil and really not mentally well sometimes, and this is increasing.

This is more complicated, as my memory is shocking and I don't form memories like other people (I have no minds eye). So when asked how long this has been going on for, I literally have no idea. Which I've been thinking about going to the doctors for for years, but as it wasn't really affected my quality of life (my factual memory is ok, above average in the short term) I didn't think I stood a chance of getting referred to somebody who had an understanding of this - plus, what could anybody do to help?

Plus I have (privately diagnosed) ADHD. I told her that I tried to self refer for MH treatment (have worked in a nearby GP and I know this is the route to take for CBT re depression/ anxiety), but was told by them that in my situation, I'd need a GP referral to a different organisation.

She said that she agreed, she wouldn't want to give me any medication and she felt I should see a specialist to see if they thought it was rapid onset BPD. Is this a thing? Isn't all BPD rapid onset? I'm wondering if she thought I meant bipolar...

Anyway, I said I was expecting a long wait as I completely understand how stretched the MH service is and I'm functioning quite well. But she said she was going to mark it as urgent v grateful obviously but kind of surprised.

I'm just generally wondering on the process? If you've been diagnosed with BPD, were you first seen by a psychiatrist? Or MH nurse/ psychologist? What were the steps from there?

It's playing on my mind so I'd be beyond grateful for the pathway re diagnosis/ treatment. Thanks

Hopeful bump

My story is a bit different as I was originally diagnosed with bipolar. I was referred to the local assessment and treatment services. The first person I saw was not a psychiatrist, can't remember their job title but I went over everything with them. They then made the decision that I probably met the threshold for diagnosis and referred me to the psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist then diagnosed me with bipolar. I saw them every couple of months and every 6 months the psychiatrist would change as they were junior doctors or similar.
On about the forth one they changed the diagnosis. It terms of treatment I was already on anti pyshcotics and anti depressant. That has since to pregabilin. By the point they changed diagnosis I had exhausted the talking therapy that the nhs could offer so I now go private.
I know lots of people have dbt but depends on area.
As i say I know my story is different but don't want to leave you with no responses! It can be quiet on this board.

Hi there :) I'm completely new to the site but heres my story with BPD, hope it helps ! Since I was 16 I've been seeing every kind of MH support team they offer. I was too young for meds at that time but as soon as I turned 18 I was given anti-depressants.

They were upped every few months as they would stop working and I seen people from dietians (for an eating disorder), anxiety therapists, physio for relaxation and countless different "specialists". I was put through the referral system maybe about 15-20 times due to not only my own unreliability to show up to appointments (bad days I struggle to string a sentence together!) , but also the lack of professionalism from the CMHT. My GP would always have on my notes that I didn't attend or respond to their letters, obviously sent to him by the people I was seeing at the time, which was completely false. I always made sure to reschedule if needed with plenty of notice and even showed up for appointments that my psychiatrist didn't bother to come to!

I was diagnosed in March 2017 with BPD at aged 23 and told to go research it. The follow up appointment was the one mentioned above that didn't show up, and it stopped me from seeing anyone for over a year. She prescribed me anti-psychotics and told me we could discuss CBT at a later date. Not long after that my GP put me on anti-anxiety medication which with the 3 meds at once, 1 being a high dosage, pushed me so far down that I decided to stop taking all the meds in November 2017. I now realise they never really done anything for me other than turn me into a comfortably numb zombie. I'm not saying they dont work, because they really do for most people who need them.

I had been on them for roughly 6 years. I didn't consult my doctor stupidly but at that point I couldn't even stand the word doctor ! It's now been 1 year and 7 months off medication and it's been the hardest time of my life, but because I chose to do my own research as much as I could cram into my brain, I've done the most work on my self I have ever done in my life. I still struggle every single hour, and have episodes and mood swings, and survive through BPD every day and possibly always will.

I'm now waiting to see the same psychiatrist who blew me off (oh joy!) but I'm looking forward to it, because now I'm armed with the facts and she can point me in the right direction. I would like to try CBT, however DBT is more aimed at BPD treatment, but the good old NHS doesn't seem to know what that is ! CBT isnt available in my area either, I'm in a small town in Scotland so the services are definitely stretched.

I also wanted to let you know that I've never heard of rapid onset BPD, however I'm not a professional and couldn't say "it's not a thing". I'd definitely recommend researching that or anything else you want to know. I'm currently waiting on a diagnosis for ADHD aswell. I hope this could be of use for you, whatever way you want to go make sure it's right for you!

Isn't bipolar disorder characterised by a few weeks being 'low' and then a few weeks of 'manic high'? Or at least there shouldn't be fluxuations by the hour. Hourly changes in mood extreme point more towards hormonal issues or depression. Or (heaven forbid) Borderline personality disorder.

@X21emz totally agree regarding not having heard of rapid onset (but also agree that doesn't mean it's not a thing!) I had years of being in the mental health system from the age of 14.

@TeaForTheWin I may have misunderstood your post but the op is talking about borderline personality disorder not bipolar (I know I mentioned bipolar)

@Iovestruck there's lots of wonderful resources out there but this book resonated with me the most in terms of her experience Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1592850995/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_p6lgDbV1V9GVR?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Hi,

I have BPD and was diagnosed when I was 25, three months after I decided that I would kill myself. I've struggled with my mental pretty much since I was 9 when I first started having panic attacks.

I see a private therapist twice a week on a reduced scale and started at absolute rock bottom. I didn't think I would live beyond 26 (I'm 27 now). I'm not prefect, but I have more happy moments and can see a future for myself when I'm well.

When I first started I didn't even know what I was feeling. A simple chart with cartoon faces actually helped. I learnt how to soothe myself when I was triggered.

Recovery is possible it just takes a while to get there. There's also a lot of other forums which I use to check in daily with.

There's also DBT workbooks. I have the one by Matthew McKay:

www.amazon.co.uk/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&keywords=dbt+matthew&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1561911510&sr=8-1

Two documentaries I liked:

1. Dr Aguirre's Insights on Borderline Personality Disorder

2."Back From the Edge" - Borderline Personality Disorder

There's also the book I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J.

Thank you for the video links! Just googled Dr Blaise and he happened to be in Battersea Park 3 days ago which is my neck of the woods!!!! What a great guy...he is so sympathetic to BPD and has given me real hope!

Do you think the doctor meant rapid cycling bipolar rather than rapid onset? My understanding is that bipolar disorder can take various forms and one of those is rapid cycling through mood swings rather than the stereotypical few weeks manic, crash, longer period depressed. MIND have very useful pages on bipolar and other mental health conditions (including borderline personality disorder).

@Orangecake123 fab videos, haven't seen those before. Get so tired of the stigma and misunderstanding around bpd.

I always knew something was up with me, but I was actually relieved I finally had an answer why I felt everything so strongly. I have a lot of trauma in my history but always thought it was my fault even though I was a child.

I've read too many BPD wife /partner ruined my life threads so I get the stigma. I'm currently in my fourth year of medical school.For third year we had a lessons in the psychiatry department with a therapist- when we were talking about personality disorders and with BPD she actually made the comment with her story of a previous patient who had BPD written in her notes that the borderline mother would hit the baby if it was crying.

My therapist didn't actually even tell me that I was borderline until I was 9 months in with him, he didn't want me to defined by a label. But you do need a a steady therapist with experience. My current T is my third one as I didn't feel like I got anywhere with the other two and it's still hard to trust him even though I've been with him for 2.6 years now.

I try to read up as much as I can about BPD. I think it's the same thing as any other condition. If you know what you're dealing with you can treat it.