Is feeling lost normal

[Mollsmum91]

Writing something down is so different to saying something. And no one knows it's me, it's a comfort knowing that. I don't need anybody to worry or feel sympathy, I don't know what I need but I just need something.
I've thought about writing something before or talking to someone but who? I have family I can talk to, and I have the most supportive partner, I have very few close friends I can talk to, but I can't explain it, they know me so how I feel now they won't understand.
I have a beautiful daughter, a lovely home and my boyfriend is perfect so why do I feel lost... I don't know if that's the right word.. Lost but I'm struggling to get a grasp of my life, and it makes me feel all kinds of guilty.
I don't know how this happened to me, I've shut myself off from everyone, my family and friends.. I still talk to them but its robot conversations.
For some reason I can't pull myself together, I'm drowning in something that I know only I can change. I feel I have no purpose. I used to have a good job, I left because I wasn't seeing my daughter and now Im struggling to put myself out there to go back to work.. am I scared of something? I have no hobbies anymore.. But I can't find interest in anything I dont enjoy anything, the things I used to like I don't anymore. I have no independence, I lost that, I lost myself but I don't know how, I don't have a bad life so why do I feel like this. Its frustrating to me. And then I cry. I always wondered what goes through someone's mind before they decide to end their life, how bad do things have to get. For me to end everything or pull myself together.. I want too. I want it better.

It sounds to me like depression. Depression happens to people who have lost loved ones, live alone and who have nothing. It also happens to people who are loved and who have "a good life." It doesn't care about what you have or don't have. I think a trip to the doctors would be a good idea. Tablets may help you get through this hard time but counselling would be useful, I think, to unpick where this has come from and what needs to change. My sense is you've lost a role and connection to others with not working. Sending you

@Mollsmum91 I have been feeling very similar to you since the start of this year. I have a lovely husband, 2 young daughters, a nice family, friends, a fairly good job etc and yet for some reason anxiety took over and I started to feel panicked almost everyday. I've been having intrusive negative thoughts about breaking up from my husband, I've felt very unmotivated, lost interest in the usual things, avoiding socialising etc and so tearful - it's been really hard. Like @fessmess says, depression doesn't choose who to strike and I have realised that I need help because it's not getting better on it's own. So I have seen the GP and am on day 8 of AD's (which has been rocky with side effects but I'm hanging in there) and I've booked some counselling. Already I feel better for doing something. Don't suffer in silence, get some help x

I can empathise, I feel empty and distant. It's taking so much energy to act my way through what I should be feeling that I just want to be alone so I don't have to pretend any more. I have a great DH, children, job etc but I feel constantly sad. I'm going to try counseling as a first step, might that be an option for you?