Need help with health anxiety

[Notcopingwellhere]

Since my son was born 2 years ago I am almost constantly afraid that I or DH am going to get cancer and die. So many stories all over the media and my own Dad died of leukaemia at age 53, then my Mum about 5 years ago aged 65 from lung cancer despite not being a smoker. I come across as coping well with both deaths but the truth is that they eat away at me every day. Three colleagues have had cancer in their 30s, one dead, one in remission and one still early days since diagnosis. FIL has lung cancer at the moment. Some days I am crippled by guilt that I have brought a child into the world who will have to go through parental death and I am terrified that I am missing symptoms. We had IVF and I have heard stories of cancers caused by infertility drugs. Constant intrusive thoughts about being ill, picturing my son having to be told I am gone.

I have private healthcare through work and in the past I have exaggerated symptoms to get referred for things like abdominal ultrasounds, which have all come back clear. Right now I have lower back pain and the logical side of me knows that I was doing some DIY at the weekend, but the anxious side is sure that it’s a symptom of cancer.

I think I probably need to use my private healthcare for some sort of anxiety and bereavement counselling but I don’t really know where to start because I think I’d need to be referred and none of the GPs I have seen have struck me as people I can open up to. It’s stopping me from functioning.

Does anyone have any advice or experience?

Bless your heart.

I suffer terribly with health anxiety and everything you have said is extremely familiar to me.

I lost my dad as a child aged 36 and I have been diagnosed with the same genetic condition that killed him, so has my 13 year old daughter. I found this out last year but even before this I was constantly in a state of terror at the thought of getting ill and dying. Weirdly I don't think I gave dying a second thought until the day after my daughter was born.

It sounds ridiculous but I've "diagnosed" myself with so many different types of cancer, leukaemia, heart failure, MS, the list is bloody endless.

Some things that I've found help include:

1. Not googling symptoms AT ALL. At my worst I would get up in the night and google.
2. Meditation. I use the headspace app which you can get discounted if you join anxiety uk. You can also get a free trial. I've not used this in a while and I've noticed a bit of a spike.
3. CBT to an extent. I've had two courses. The first was pretty rubbish. The second was online. I self referred to IAPT. Your GP should be able to give you details.
4. exercise, swimming and yoga. I'm the laziest person ever and didn't set foot in a gym from 1992 until a couple of years ago. I try to go at least twice a week. I notice a spike in my anxiety when I can't go.

So sorry not to be more help but I really wanted to stop by and send you some solidarity because it's really horrible, frightening and a lonely place to be when you're caught up in a cycle of health anxiety. You're not alone x

I'm so sorry to hear you are both struggling - it can be so debilitating. I suffer from it as well. I actually have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to discuss my current worry!
I also had no fear of dying until my first child was born. I couldn't bear the thought of what would happen to my DCs if I weren't around. I can get obsessed by it.
I do things like exercise, self care, and mindfulness. I've been on a low dose SSRI for years so you may wish to consider medication. You are definitely NOT alone

Hi I’ve just joined this forum in the hope I can get some advice or support from others around health anxiety. Just wanted to say you aren’t alone, I feel like health anxiety takes over my life, it’s all consuming at times and be very difficult. Does anyone know of any online support groups specifically for this? Hope everyone on here is feeling a little better.

Hi worrier - I feel very much like you. Unfortunately I can't recommend a specific forum, although various health anxiety threads are posted in this section regularly. I did join an FB health anxiety group for a while - it was very active. I searched 'health anxiety' and a number of FB groups popped up.
Please feel free to post on here as well. Take care

I have health anxiety too. I think it was caused by my mother always being ill from the time I was about 12. I was always worrying about her.
At the moment I'm on antidepressants and beta blockers because my anxiety got really bad just after Christmas because I had some horrible symptoms for weeks that tells doctor couldn't find a reason for.
All this while later I've still got those symptoms!
Now my upper back is really painful and I'm convinced it's lung cancer because I was stupid enough to Google it and it matches what I read.
I'm doing a CBT workshop starting next week and have started counselling.
If I could get private treatment I would because I'm sick of the worry.

Limensoda are the antidepressants helping? I sometimes go through the same as you - worry I have something serious based on an ache or pain. Have you started CBT?

Hi, i have been having some bizarre swelling in my body for a few weeks now which I was initially treated with antihistamines - made no difference. It will come and go but I get a heavy sensation in my limbs and then they feel achey and swollen, like they're full of fluid. It can't really be seen to anyone else but to me the affected areas feel quite firm.
I have woken up tonight itchy all over and I am getting increasingly concerned about lymphoma cancers. Sounds dramatic but...! Had recent blood tests, many check ups and even an ultrasound on my arms where I am getting the swelling mainly and all seems ok. Only had lymph nodes in my underarms scanned though and not groin or neck.
I will mention I do suffer with anxiety (also around health) but I can't ignore this symptom! Please help/advise if you can x

Hi, anyone still around? My health anxiety is out of control at the minute, I’m spending hours googling symptoms just to try and get a bit of relief, although it usually does the opposite.
My latest worry is a swelling inside my mouth and around jaw, I’m convinced I have mouth cancer. As others have mentioned I often have itching which I’ve read can be a symptom of some cancers. I feel like I’m living some sort of half life, totally preoccupied, and struggle to take in anything going on around me, as I’m so busy obsessing about my symptoms and what they might be diagnosed as. Can anyone relate to this?

Hi curly. It's so hard isn't it? Have you been struggling with health anxiety for a long time? Have you tried CBT or other therapy to curb the intrusive thoughts?

Hi Viking, thanks for replying - I’ve always suffered from anxiety but the health anxiety started about a year ago when I had a mole removed, and the biopsy showed it was cancer. The consultant wrote in his letter that it wasn’t a dangerous or life threatening one, but Since then I’ve become obsessed, cancer never entered my thoughts before then.
How are you Viking? I know it was a while ago but did you find the doctor supportive? I’m considering low dose anti-d’s, have taken them before, but find they give me terrible brain fog.
I recently saw a counsellor, think it was solution focussed therapy, was good to talk about it, but still feel all my symptoms are very real.

You can self refer to LetsTalk on the NHS. I think it just takes a little longer.

I was referred to CBT for general and health anxiety. Its helped me alot, more than I thought it would. I was utterly convinced I'd be a worrier forever.
I still worried sometimes, but not half as much as I used to, and now when I feel poorly I dont automatically assume I'm going to die of something horrible. I rationalise my thoughts and know that actually, I've just got a bug, its mild, people have had worse, in a few days I'll feel a tonne better.

Get some CBT OP, I cant reccomend it enough. I know how you feel and its horrendous to be constantly under the thumb of anxiety. It controls our life more than people can begin to think.

I'm a fellow health anxiety sufferer.
My troubles started after an SVT. Prior to this I was a general anxiety sufferer and now the focus is on my health, particularly anything to do with my heart ( although it's in no way just my heart I worry about)
The SVT was unbelievably scary and traumatic ( medics wanted to stop my heart and re-start it) and ive been left living with PTSD.
I have been for various medical investigations as I just don't feel 'right'. My anxiety has also resulted in terrible gastro problems and I've had camera investigations, chest x-rays,blood tests, ecgs, and a MRI to name a few. Latest being ultrasound to check my ovaries as I had 'symptoms' and was sure I had ovarian cancer.
I've quite recently started having aura migraine which has me really worried its actually stroke.
Despite all this CBT has really helped me. I also had emdr therapy ( not sure if I'm honest how much this helped)
I was prescribed Sertraline but refuse to take it as I worry about side effects and I read somewhere it can cause palpitations so that was a definite no to taking it for me even though countless doctors have said I need to take it.
One thing that is a real help on the bad days is Paul David's blog and his book.

You are not alone. I posted on here a couple of months ago as I thought I was alone in feeling the way I did about dying! I too fear that I will get cancer, die and leave my two children alone.

My husband thinks I am being dramatic, I kept a lot of my anxiety quiet for so long just thinking I could deal with it and I ended up sobbing on my husband telling him it was consuming me and I am so scared that I was struggling to function. On the outside though everyone probably thought I was absolutely fine.

I am still seeing a consultant and GP for abdominal pain that they can't seem to find a diagnosis for. I find that, my anxiety comes from real symptoms, but I just assume these symptoms are worst case scenario.

I really try not to google things now, but I give in every now and then. The last time I googled I convinced myself I have pancreatic cancer (as the doctors ruled out most other organs when they have been investigating my abdominal pain of I don't know whether they checked my pancreas so I am now convinced it is that). Read on google that itching is a symptom and for the last 3 days I've itched!! Now I don't know if it is a symptom or if I am going bloody mad!!!

I spoke to my GP about my worries and they asked me to self refer to counselling, which I haven't done yet, I was coping so well and then boom....it's hit me again!

Just remember you are never alone! big hugs x

You’re not alone! I have had HA since my DD was born. My mum died of leukaemia when I was pregnant. My current fears are that I have lung cancer despite GP sending me for x ray which was clear, diabetes, heart disease because of chest pains but I’ve had loads of ecgs over the years and a QR scan thing which all come back clear.
Sertraline helped but it had cons as well.
Sorry I can’t be more help. It really is hard.

Hi @curlyfries I can totally empathise with you.

I wouldn't wish health anxiety on anyone.

Have you had any treatment at all? I've always been too scared to try medication but I've heard it works for some.

I know this sounds insane but when I was googling constantly I made myself s reward chart (like you would a child) and stuck a sticker on it every day I was able to not google. I told myself that I would buy myself a really nice present if I got through the month without googling at all and I did. The thing that it taught me was that I realised for the first time in ages I'd started to worry less about my health and the reward chart could be the only reason. I don't know why I came up with this idea but I've had CBT which talks about experimenting with not googling and seeing how you feel.

I definitely wouldn't say my health anxiety is gone by any means but it's a great great deal less in general (touch wood).

I'm thinking of trying CBT oil. I wonder if anyone has any experience of this?

Anyway, sending you all big hugs x

I thinks the reward chart is a good idea @Unusualusernames, and funnily enough I’m just about to order some CBD oil.
@mrsprice84, my anxieties always come from real symptoms, and if I do have things checked and all is ok, I might get a couple of days of relief before I move onto the next thing!
I’ve had a terrible couple of days, have been falling asleep really early, think being constantly anxious is exhausting, I’m worse when not at work as don’t have time to worry so much when I’m there.
I’m looking at having hypnotherapy, anyone tried it for health anxiety?
Hope everyone manages to have a good day.

@curlyfries I am exactly the same. It is all consuming isn't it? I am just going to ring my insurance to self refer myself for counselling which is something I should have done weeks ago and never did because I thought I could 'cope' when I clearly can't as like you say, you are ok for a couple fo days and then BAM next thing!

Enjoy your day everyone.

I know exactly what you mean about having tine on your hands. I worked three days a week for 7 years and I started to dread my two days off because I would worry about my health so much. I'm working full time now which helps with the health anxiety x