Feel so unhappy

[HeyListen]

I'm close to walking out and ending it. I'm not thinking straight and I know it. I made a stupid mistake today and it has tipped me over the edge. My gp made an urgent referral to community mental health last week and I still haven't heard from them. So I've no support, no help. So I'm posting here because I just need someone. I want to cry, I want to scream but nothing is coming out. I'm feel empty.

Can you call your local Crisis team, they can usually help in 24 hrs. Have you a friend or family member nearby you can contact?
There are also the Samaritans and mind numbers that are available 24/7. They are people that can help you, you're not alone.

I left the house immediately after posting, walked to a bridge, stood, cried and left. I walked around for a bit, sat, thought, walked some more and now I'm home. My head feels less like it is about to explode. I still feel awful but dont feel in any immediate danger of doing anything silly right now. I just want to lay down and cry.
Thank you for taking time to reply to me. I'm unable to access the crisis team as I'm yet to see anyone from cmh. My family know I am struggling, I told them I had been to the gp but I dont think they realise how bad it is. I play the happy act to everyone I know and everyone i meet. Lately though it is a struggle to keep up.

Please phone the Samaritans - they are there to listen and can point you to other organisations that can help whilst you wait for a referral. X

Talk to your family. Tell them honestly how you are feeling. They will want to be there to help you. Give them the chance

I can tell you're very distressed. Would you call 111, they will help too and can help arrange emergency/priority appointments over the weekend. They'll understand your situation and take action to help.

Glad you went home.

Mh is in dying ! It’s not there unfortunately!

Your gp obviously didn’t write strong enough, that or they haven’t seen it
Did your gp ask to see you next week? They should off

Try to explain to your family if your able? Do u think there listening or taking you seriously if you are opening up?
You really need to tell them, if you think there interested or supportive

Don’t get to the point where u think your going to do something silly/or really not thinking straight
Go to a&e, they have an on call psych. They will access you to see if your going safe to go back home or are not going to act on anything

speak to someone - anyone - and tell them how you really feel. if you can't face telling your family call the samaritans or 101. tell them that you made steps towards suicide.

sorry you are feeling overwhelmed.

I don't really think my family know how to deal with me when I am like this. Can't blame them really because I don't know myself what anyone can do to help me and tbh I don't want to impose my misery on them when they are all happy. My mum loves me but has never been as supportive for me as she is with my siblings. She wants to be around them, visits them, helps them when they need it. I've always been left to get on with things alone, even when I have made it clear I am struggling. I feel bad saying that but that is reality. She has suffered mh problems herself so maybe that's why she keeps her distance from it.
Woke up this morning feeling a bit agitated. Feel quite shaky, my heart is racing and I feel like I can feel the blood pumping through my body. I feel very restless. I'm sure it is the fluoxetine making me feel like this. I don't remember having these side effects the last time I had to take it.
My moods are all over the place, although I guess I am kind of like that anyway. It just feels more intense right now.
My doctor gave me 32 tablets no repeat and hasn't asked to see me again. Maybe she is just waiting for cmh services to take over?
Again thank you to each and every one of you for taking the time to speak to me

Hey OP, let's talk through a few things. Has this been a steady downwards slope or do you feel something has triggered a more intense sense of anxiety now? Do you have a diagnosis?

Do you have any things you know usually work to help manage whilst you wait for cmh team? Some find exercise helps, walking, swimming, being out if the house it just being in the house.

Have you eaten today or much over this week?

Do you have anyone you trust other than family?