My boyfriend of 1 year has a history of depression, I first experienced a bad episode about 3 months into out relationship which was challenging but we got through it. For the last 6 months or so he's been continuously depressed with some good days and some really bad days.
He struggles with the simplest of tasks, he doesn't sleep properly (as in he will stay up until 3am and sleep until noon), which means he works late (works from home) so doesn't finish working until 10/11pm. He has no motivation to cook so lives off take away and even doing his washing or tiding up is a mammoth task.
We don't live together, however I'm usually at him Friday night until Monday morning. Recently I've had to start spending more time at mine as his mood is dragging me down.
When he's having good day he's so happy and caring and enthusiastic about things but the rest if the time even nipping to the shop is draining due to his lack of enthusiasm and interest.
After a particularly bad few weeks he's finally realised that he needs to get professional help, although his doctors are making him wait 3 weeks for an appointment. After a particularly bad weekend he's going to try and get an emergency appointment for tomorrow or atleast this week.
But I find it so difficult to see past his behaviour when he's not well, there is a major lack of affection, his inability to do things to make my life easier (like cook me tea or help me tidy up), his desire to constantly play his xbox games because that's his escape.
I KNOW he loves me he's just been poorly for that long that I think his illness is actually just normal to him now . But it's exhausting, I'm trying to juggle my life and I really need his support sometimes but hes just not well enough right now but i get frustrated and angry and upset
Then I feel guilty because I know it's not his fault and I know he struggled with depression when we got together.
I just need advise on how to be supportive and take his behaviour less personally (He's never mean or anything to me, it's just the lack of enthusiasm and emotional support) and how to see mental health as a illness.
Any advise? Thanks