It's hard

[magnatis]

I think it's been building for a while. I know it was my choice to have children but I didn't know I was going to have 2 and having 2 is different to having one.

Because of my twins I had to give up my job and it's harder having two babies, rather than one.

I feel like I am so far away from the person I want to be. I want to have more money - I want to go on holiday, have nice clothes (fit in).

My friends have had kids and are living like they're used to. Kids go to childcare and they go about their business. Other people's parents help out but mine don't help. I go to mother and toddler groups and when I see other grandparents it makes me want to cry because I feel that their parents care more than mine do. Honestly at this one playgroup, it's like a grandparent's club.

I've tried telling my mum but she says she wants to save towards a new house so she can't help me with childcare. She doesn't even seem that interested. We had our first sleepover 2 weeks back she said she wouldn't do it again in a rush.

I am just so disappointed. My husband also says he'll fix stuff but he doesn't. I have to beg him to mow the lawn.

Feels like noone cares. I'm just really fed up of it.

Hey hun, I’m sorry to here how you feel!

Although I don’t have twins I had two under 2 and when I had my second depression kicked in for many reasons.. it’s just so much harder then one I can’t how hard it is for you with twins..

What you have to firstly do.. is start loving life as it is now.. only reason I say this is because all those other things really don’t mattter ( I know they do because I get upset when I think about money and other stuff ) but what I mean is when it really comes down to it they don’t matter and you have to first be happy with where you are now.. if it helps do a gratitude list on everything you love on your life..

Then once you do this.. think of everything you want to improve and how your gonna do it, give yourself a goal and just work towards it.

Also I know it’s no help now but the older they get it just gets easier too my eldest is 3 now and his just so independent it’s the best thing to watch him grow but although it comes with new difficulties it’s different to those of a small small baby who depends on your every move.

And just lastly a little suggestion have you tried finding out if your eligible for tax credit on childcare? You might not be depending on your husbands wage but my younger one who is too young for funding goes for 3 hours a day and they pay 70 percent of it.. bbut I am a single mum so it might be different but it helps keep me sane for abit and get stuff done..

Hope I’ve helped xx