12-year-old dd refusing to come on holiday because of anxiety issues

[ali23]

Our 12-year-old dd has a sporadic history of fainting. Of late, she suffered from low iron and was dizzy/feeling faint. Blood tests confirmed she was borderline anaemic and so she was prescribed some iron supplements.
However, it has given rise to crippling and debilitating anxiety issues. She has started to take panic attacks. She has dropped out of all extra curricular activities that she previously enjoyed and no amount of cajoling is helping.

We have paid an eye-watering amount for her to see a therapist who has been helping. She has been twice and there has been a benefit but we cannot afford to pay for him long-term as it is exceptionally expensive. We have a CAMHS app for the end of August.

Prior to this last six weeks, she had identified two-year episodes of fainting - at age 6/8/10 and now 12. The last time she fainted was coming home from holiday two years ago. So she is now adamant that she will not come on holiday (end of this month) as she 'knows' she is going to faint. She is furious with us for wanting her to go. Previously, she has been excited about the holiday. She has now said she would like to be on holiday but not get on holiday.

What do we do? As a family of five we have been counting down to this since September. Has anyone had medication for their anxious child to get on a flight? For me, that is a last resort. I would far rather we got through it without that but at the minute I just don't see it happening.

Any advice hugely appreciated as the effect this is having on us as a family is enormous.

i have quite a lot of experience of this unfortunately.

what else is she avoiding? i.e. what are her triggers? you say she is not doing extra curricula stuff. I would sit down and list all the things that are triggering her anxiety and rate each out of ten. Then take the one at the bottom and try to use incentives (what motivates her? Food? Money?) to get her to do that thing. We started using ipad time as a bribe and managed to address things on the list quite quickly. it is like homework and needs doing everyday.

We had CBT via Camhs but to be honest the most effective stuff we did ourselves at home using this technique.

I'm assuming that the flight will be at the top of the list for you? just forcing them to do stuff doesn't work. negotiation is everything. I'd start with the small stuff and then you'll get a better idea of whether the flight is realistic or not.

Does she have 'magical thinking' at all e.g. are the numbers significant 8,10,12?

Does she have autistic traits? Is she very clever?

my son had medication but it was a long term thing - really helped us so don't feel bad.

best of luck.

That’s really helpful, thanks.
The numbers are significant because she thinks she faints every two years and so it is ‘due’ to happen.
Will take lots of your suggestions on board. Thank you.

Get her some St John’s Wort supplements, lavender oil dabbed onto wrists/pillow at night, reduce or stop altogether any caffeine she is having & maybe (more long term) encourage her to go to yoga?