Broke today

[pink412]

I broke today. I’ve been bottling my mental health issues up for 20 years and today I had to reach out to a helpline for help. It’s hard to say the words and I can’t explain what’s wrong but anxiety and social anxiety with the feeling of been overwhelmed, (it’s like I’m a glass full of water and it’s overflowing or a kettle reaching boiling point then I snap)

I have managed to get into a better place but I snap again at the end of the day when people just don’t listen or talk over me.

I’ve just had a short holiday in London and its the best thing I could do and I was stress free while away so a few minutes back I’m stressed and breaking again. And I’ve had enough of feeling like this.

I have a hospital appointment with a genetics/neurologist next week (this is coincidentally) but I am going to ask them. Doing think I can talk to my doctor as we know them outside the GP and I can’t say the words but type them no problem.

This actually helps a lot me just typing away to empty my head.

You broke which never feels great - BUT you are doing something about it and that is amazing, well done 
This will be the first step towards change and feeling better for yourself, it's brave and bold and will pay off for you I am sure. Sending positive vibes your way!

I’ve just reached out for help too
You are the best expert on you after 30 years
Things that help me are alcohol ( small doses only ! ) helplines for saying honestly how you feel, challenge yourself in small steps
You are not alone, sending love and best wishes

Well done for reaching out. I had counciling for ptsd 5 years ago and it was a weight lifted. I still sometimes have bad days and have considered going to talk to someone again but taking that first step is paramount.

I also broke today and reached out for help by booking in an assessment for next week in the hope I'll get referred to a counsellor. Making that call felt like the hardest step to take, but already I'm so glad I have. None of us need to live like this and there is help out there. There is also (in small doses!)

Well done everyone who's asked for help! I know from personal experience that it's not easy. Please congratulate yourself - you need to get in the habit of saying "well done" to yourself when you do something positive.

Something I’ve done today is sit down and write a lot of notes I’ve made for a while about my health. Lots and lots of little things all’s of which are most likely connected but hoping a professional can make sense of it all, over 3 pages in total.

When ever I go to other appointment I forget things so this should help, just scary to write it all out. But writing, blogging and posting on social media and forums helps so much.

that sounds very positive pink

Had a genetics appointment today. Went brought it’s up. But they say to speak to my doctor. Ahhhhhh.

I have tried to make an appointment and I just can’t they need to know why and the only online ones are in early July

I now have a gp (doctors) appointment booked. Small steps but getting there had enough of feeling crop.

Got a lot worse since the last lost which has resulted in me writing a letter to close family saying stuff and begging for help.

They are going to get me an appointment on Monday as an emergency.

If you are going through anything like this, I have found writing helps I have started a blog and twitter account where I just type junk when I need to let stuff out. I don't normally write.