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How happy people stay happy??!!!

35 replies

lovedarkchocolate · 06/06/2019 18:13

Exactly that...how do you stay happy? I feel
Like I’m constantly miserable for one reason or another

OP posts:
lovedarkchocolate · 06/06/2019 19:53

@BeyondMyWits good point..I think she didn’t have an easy life indeed but no matter how shitty I feel or how tough my life is I would still love my son from the bottom of my heart...I would want to see my grandchild

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 06/06/2019 19:56

I saw on another thread... a lot of being happy in life is about your expectations.

If you expect you should have a better job... partner... health... body.. it's a recipe for failure & being unhappy.

Flip side is not acceptable to settle for shit situation, of course. It's human nature to always want to strive 2 make things a bit easier & nicer, of course.

Are there other people around you seemingly content with their life in spite of having the same sorts of things (good & bad) that you have? Or do you genuinely think it's only you with your problems & your circumstances (that's a guaranteed no, for a start).

Banterlope · 06/06/2019 19:57

I've been depressed for three decades, badly for the last six years. I tried various SSRIs and settled on 40mg of Fluoxetine, although it didn't really work and left me feeling numb. Also did CBT, which did nothing for me.

After driving around the countryside for six months with a noose in the boot of my car and suicidal thoughts in my head I figured I didn't have much more to lose, so I started microdosing LSD. Tiny, unnoticeable amounts every third day – like a 10th of a 'normal' trip. I did a lot of acid 'back in the day' so I know what tripping is like, and this isn't it. It is imperceptible, unnoticeable. I take it at 5.30 when I get up and go about my business – meetings, shopping, working, cooking, kids, dogs, blah blah. I forget I've taken it, even though I was anxious at first when I began.

I'm one month into a three-month trial and then I'm going to stop and see how I feel. It's apparently not an on-going treatment, many find six months or so 'resets' them.

I think it's effects have been quite profound, there seems to be an absence of negative, circular, self-critical thoughts and the suicidal ideation has gone. I'm more productive at work (I run my own business so have noticed this), I am more creative (I am a fiction editor so this is important to my work and my clients) and I just seem to have more empathy and peace of mind. Sometimes I actually feel happy for no particular reason, or a song will transport me, or some other clichéd bollocks will give me a lift. It's quite alarming!

I am not used to feeling this way after so long and I seem to spend a lot of time surprised at how depressed I was and the nature and pointlessness of my endless self-criticism. I have a different perspective and I'm starting (slowly) to go with the adjustment in my mood and not think it's going to come back and bite me on the arse. So far so good. Maybe I should do an AMA on it.

Anyway, this women is pretty funny and she sums it up well.

Chottie · 06/06/2019 20:00

I am a happy person. I take joy from lots of small things throughout the day. Today, the pink rose bush my DS bought me a couple of years ago is in flower and it smells gorgeous.

I walked to work in the sunshine, enjoying a coffee on the way.
I had a chat with my daughter
I cooked a new Jack Monroe recipe this evening, it was delish and about 80p a portion.

I tried to avoid negative people at work and if I do have to listen to them going on and on, I let their words wash over me and I refuse to let them bring me down.

Outside of work, I belong to the WI, a knitting group and cake making group. All these people are friendly and welcoming and we share a common interest, I have happy times with them.

Yes, I have had loss and sorrow in my life, but I accept it and realise that life will continue and so will I.

BeyondMyWits · 06/06/2019 20:00

that is sad OP...

she is not you - you can't change her, just how you react to her.

I would hold her default position as being she doesn't want to see them - disappointing, but anything more is then a bonus. Rather than the default being "why won't she just behave like I want her to" which unfortunately has no upside.

YeOldeTrout · 06/06/2019 20:00

You can decide your relatives are unkind or unreasonable, but it's their problem, not yours. You can still be happy in yourself, btw. You won't change them. Can be happy to have what you have, though.

I loved the HP Fantastical Beasts movie the other night.

How happy people stay happy??!!!
wheresmymojo · 06/06/2019 20:44

With 300mg Venlafaxine daily!

Jb291 · 06/06/2019 20:57

Definitely get where you are coming from OP. There is so much unhappiness and awful things going on in the world around us, it's very much a struggle not to give in to despair sometimes. This year has been dreadful and we are only halfway through. I don't like the world outside my door much. It and the people in it frighten and upset me. I have had multiple bereavements over the last couple of months and grief and loss are present in my life every day. I'm finding a coping technique in making sure that although the world outside is a horrid and upsetting place that I try and keep home as a calm place and leave all the horror outside. Breathing exercises when I'm struggling with panic or getting upset. Remembering to try and treat myself kindly. I don't always have good days at the moment and am finding life a struggle. I manage to go out to work every day but get exhausted very easily,

BeyondMyWits · 07/06/2019 07:35

I think I would also look at things as "Is there anything that I, personally, can do to change this?" - if the answer is no, (and when it relates to other people's reactions - the answer is always no) try not to dwell on it.

Oblomov19 · 07/06/2019 07:42

Reading with interest.
I'm NOT a naturally happy person.

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