I've been depressed for three decades, badly for the last six years. I tried various SSRIs and settled on 40mg of Fluoxetine, although it didn't really work and left me feeling numb. Also did CBT, which did nothing for me.
After driving around the countryside for six months with a noose in the boot of my car and suicidal thoughts in my head I figured I didn't have much more to lose, so I started microdosing LSD. Tiny, unnoticeable amounts every third day – like a 10th of a 'normal' trip. I did a lot of acid 'back in the day' so I know what tripping is like, and this isn't it. It is imperceptible, unnoticeable. I take it at 5.30 when I get up and go about my business – meetings, shopping, working, cooking, kids, dogs, blah blah. I forget I've taken it, even though I was anxious at first when I began.
I'm one month into a three-month trial and then I'm going to stop and see how I feel. It's apparently not an on-going treatment, many find six months or so 'resets' them.
I think it's effects have been quite profound, there seems to be an absence of negative, circular, self-critical thoughts and the suicidal ideation has gone. I'm more productive at work (I run my own business so have noticed this), I am more creative (I am a fiction editor so this is important to my work and my clients) and I just seem to have more empathy and peace of mind. Sometimes I actually feel happy for no particular reason, or a song will transport me, or some other clichéd bollocks will give me a lift. It's quite alarming!
I am not used to feeling this way after so long and I seem to spend a lot of time surprised at how depressed I was and the nature and pointlessness of my endless self-criticism. I have a different perspective and I'm starting (slowly) to go with the adjustment in my mood and not think it's going to come back and bite me on the arse. So far so good. Maybe I should do an AMA on it.
Anyway, this women is pretty funny and she sums it up well.