My life has felt like it has been spiralling out of control for the last few years. Money troubles and marriage problems and then my husband left me last year. He left for another woman because I have been so awful to live with.
We have been back and forth trying to sort things out, he's lied to me constantly and I lots of things have happened since he left involving the other woman and her contacting me and doing some things.
I thought I was losing my mind, started to feel better and now things have come to a head again. I can't say what as it is too outing but my husband is turning everything around on me, I am doubting things I was so sure about, I am feeling like I have done things wrong but I know I haven't. I feel like just giving up.
I am a rubbish mother to my children at the moment, I am clearly a rubbish wife that is not worth loving. I have felt so anxious the last couple of weeks, I have no proper friends or family and I honestly don't think anyone would miss me if I was gone. Everyone would have a happier life. I have such dark thoughts consuming me and I don't know how to stop them and how to make my life better. I just can't see an end to all the hurt and destruction that my life is at the moment.