I'm very worried about my friend who is suffering from severe depression and anxiety and would appreciate any advice.
She has had two major depressive episodes before that led to her being off work for several months, the last being around 2011-12. These were triggered by work stress, but this time it seems to have been set off by her husband leaving his job in February and sliding into depression himself. (They only got married last summer).
It's very hard to talk to her at the moment. She lives about 150 miles away. She's quite monosyllabic on the phone, sometimes hangs up, and doesn't reply to messages. I am in a WhatsApp group with several of her other friends, some of whom she sees more often as they live nearby. She has been saying things to them like it would be better if she wasn't around and that she isn't adding value. She has seen the GP who has put her on mirtazapine but I don't know if it's having any effect or even if she is taking it as prescribed. She is saying that the GP will only call her, whereas I think she needs to ask for an emergency appointment and a referral to the crisis team, not just a renewal of her sick note every fortnight. She is struggling to do anything in the house (e.g. laundry), but won't accept help from friends. Now money is also a worry as her husband is not working and also ill, she's on statutory sick pay and their rent is quite high.
I don't know what to do. I have said she's welcome to come and spend some time with me and to call any time if she wants to talk. (Several years ago, when she was living about 40 miles away, she used to regularly arrive at my house unannounced and spend the day with me because she didn't want to be alone). Other friends see her more often as they live closer, and says she seems to have good days and bad days. But we are all struggling with what we can do on her behalf - can we call the crisis team or GP for her?