Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

just watched a video and now i can't stop crying :(

17 replies

kreamkrackers · 21/07/2007 23:40

here

i just don't think i will ever come to terms with this happening to us. we got dd1 home when she turned ill, she went into multiple organ failure because of this and very almost died. i hate to say them words. i never in a million years thought this would happen to my child

it's been 3 years and i just can't see how i'll ever get over this and how i'm going to be able to hold her hand and tell her she needs another heart op when she can understand what's going on. how can i tell her to be strong when i don't feel strong myself and she needs me to be strong. i find myself watching programmes like fight for life that had a boy who had a heart transplant and i'm brought to tears but i can't stop myself from watching them.

i was on here last week saying i was depressed and i said i'd try to go to the doctors but i couldn't bring myself to go, i hate this. i hate feeling like this. i find i've become so bitter and angry with everyone as nobody in rl understands what i'm going through. i also think i might have more problems than just depression, if i do something like get a bus by myself i feel like i can hear people talking about me even though i know they're probably not but it really does feel like they are, it doesn't happen all the time but it does happen and i'm scared. it's been happening since before i had my children but it seems to happen more when i'm nervous. i also feel like everybody talks about me when i'm not around saying bad things about me. i feel really paranoid most of the time, i'm scared that dd1 will need a sn buggy soon and by this time next year i'll be walking with dd2 and pushing dd1 in a big buggy and i don't know how i'll be able to face people looking at me as i know they will even if they don't mean to.

i know i need to see a gp but it's so hard to bring myself to go and then how do i talk in rl about how i'm feeling?

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 21/07/2007 23:47

sorry you and your family went through this, and the medical care wasn't better at the time. is there any sort of support group for the sort of problems your DD has, maybe they could recommend how to see a counsellor say who has an understanding of the issues. the worrying about people talking about you I guess is related to depression/anxiety - all part of the same problem. Is your DP understanding? would MNetterrs nagging you to make that appointment help or would you want people to butt out? if you print out some of your posts or write them down for when you do see the doc?

PeachesMcLean · 21/07/2007 23:50

Hey KK, I was about to go off to bed but couldn't go without acknowledging your post. You've been through so much. I don't know anyone who could cope easily with that.

Tell us what put you off going to the docs? Was it actualy having to talk about how you feel? Or was it something else? You know you need to do that, can we help you with it?

PMxx

kreamkrackers · 21/07/2007 23:54

i honestly don't know how anyone can help, it's easy to write things down but i can't talk face to face and even if i handed something for them to read i couldn't sit there watching somebody read it. dp is getting a bit fed up with me now, i've been plagued with a cold that isn't shifting and i think he's had enough of me being ill. we're moving house next week. it doesn't feel real but it is happening, i don't know how i'm going to cope with this.

OP posts:
PeachesMcLean · 21/07/2007 23:58

I wonder if the receptionist could just hand this post or a letter to the GP, in advance, so you don't have to sit there. Also, you won't have to put up with that "So, what seems to be the problem" moment and then you have to open your mouth and hope it all comes out in the right order. If you see what I mean, it's one of my pet hates.

You're under a lot of stress as well. Don't underestimate the pressure of movig house, on top of concerns about your daughter's, and your own, health. Your DP clearly isn't helping but then they often don't.

kreamkrackers · 22/07/2007 00:02

he is trying but he can switch off to things. he won't ever talk about what happened with dd1, we've tried but he says it's easier to just put it behind us. he won't watch any of the programmes i watch and keeps telling me i should stop but i can't.

giving a letter to the receptionist first sounds like a good idea but it's getting together the courage to ask them to do it, i sound really pathetic but it's just so hard for me.

OP posts:
PeachesMcLean · 22/07/2007 00:13

Presumably the doctor will suggest a mix of counselling and some anti depressants. The ADs can be really good for getting thruogh the initial problems and the counselling for more long term resolutions. Does it help to focus on what good will come from it?
I've got to go to bed as I'm getting screwy eyed but do keep posting, there are people on the Feeling Depressed threads who know what they're talking about and can give you some really good advce. G'night chick. See yo in the mornin.
PMxxx.

kreamkrackers · 22/07/2007 00:15

thanks, sleep well xxx

OP posts:
mammamic · 22/07/2007 00:46

if you can, write things down, keep a diary. say what you feel, what triggers the worst feelings, what makes you feel happy, what makes it easier to cope, what the most difficult things are, how you felt before becoming a mum, why you feel compelled to watch programmes which are clearly distressing you.

I know this sounds like a mammoth task, but believe me, it could help massively. You will be able to see what's going on in your head and, in your better moments you may be able to look at your entries and work out coping mechanisms etc. MOST importantly, you'll be able to show the diary to a professional who will get a clear picture of what your mental state of mind is.

If you can't face going to the docs/receptionist etc, send it by post with a covering letter. Speak to your health visitor.

the right medication could literally change your life. it will help with the immediate problem of how you're feeling, your paranoia and what sound like anxiety attacks. once these are a little more under control, you can start working through why you feel this way and what you can do to get better.

depression and similar issues are so scary to people but think of if like this. if you'd fallen down the stairs and broken you arm, of course you'd go to the docs - you'd be mad not to

depression is exactly the same except you can't see the 'injury'. Not the best of examples,i know, but best way i could htink of to get the point across.

And most importantly, you more than most parents, are in that category where you really need to be able to cope and give strength and hope to your darling daughter.

Where you offered counselling or given details of support groups - they can be a true life line. would your dp come to counselling with you?

I hope this has helped a bit.

hazygirl · 22/07/2007 06:16

hope things get better for you and your daughter,take care x

kreamkrackers · 22/07/2007 11:19

i should start to keep a diary, i tried when i was a teenager but when i read back through the pages a few month later i didn't like what i had put so i ripped it up and never went back to using one.

we never got offered counselling, we had come home from hospital and had a few booklets in our bag about digeorge but there's no help there. i really think there should be something from the minute you get told your child is probably not going to pull through this there should be somebody there for you. i know we're really lucky that she did pull through and i should be so happy about that but i can't get over the shock of everything we went through when she was only 3 days old. it's so hard.

OP posts:
Malfoynomore · 22/07/2007 11:48

kreamkrackers....that Video clip made me cry so hard...it's bad enough to see it on a clip like that, but to live it must be so incredibale difficult.
No one should have to go through this.

I really think you need to bite the bullet, not just for your own sake, but also for your dd's sakes and of course your families sake in general, but you truely owe it to yourself, you know.
There are obviously some anxiety and depressia issues, which are tough to cope with at teh best of times and your dd's condition and now the housemove, etc...are just adding to the pressure.

I think maybe writing a letter to your GP about how you feel and why you rather write it down, and ask for help that way...I am sure he would come back to you and be able to offer you help.
I think you also could do with maybe some respite care, just to give you a bit of a break.

"here is a link" to a good website with information about teh different support groups, etc...you probably know about them anywya, but thought I post the link anyway.

(((((((kreamkrackers)))))))))

kreamkrackers · 22/07/2007 11:57

thanks for the link. we have had respite care, this is the only help we got offered, it was good but dd1 kept coming back with chest infections as she has a poor immune system. she would often end up in hospital needing oxygen and iv fluids needing 3 or more different courses of antibiotics. therefore i can't put her in for respite as i don't think it's fair on her and us when she comes home so ill it just feels worse than it was beforehand.

OP posts:
Malfoynomore · 22/07/2007 14:47

Awww...no respite care doesn't seem to work for her then

PeachesMcLean · 22/07/2007 22:03

Hi KK, hope you're feeling a bit better this evening.

So how are you feeling now about the prospect of going to the GP?

kreamkrackers · 22/07/2007 22:39

i'm going to just try to go and talk to my gp tomorrow about all of this. i feel a bit stronger at the moment but this might change by tomorrow. dp has 2 weeks off now whilst we move house so hopefully i'll get the courage to go within this time. i really need to stay strong and focus on this.

OP posts:
kreamkrackers · 23/07/2007 23:26

didn't go the doctors, felt so strong last night but i just couldn't do it again. will have to write everything down now instead.

OP posts:
PeachesMcLean · 24/07/2007 22:48

Write it down as in a diary, or as in to tell the dr? If the latter, I'd just print out the thread. the sheer fact that you're putting off the visit will speak volumes and will be something they've seen many times before.

What can we do to help? Nag? Hound you till you go?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page