Feel like my life is going now where and I’m stuck.

[Rspu3]

I feel like my life will never change and I’ll just be stuck in this nightmare. Up until 3 years ago I worked full time I then started to have panic attacks at work from the stress of customers talking to me like shit all day and the pressure of the job (only cashier to a que of over 20 people at a time I found it pressurising) I went on sick after my doctor advices it, I then lost my job I was only on a maternity cover and it was the end of my contract anyway. I then got another job as a cleaner for around a year then my hours went down then eventually I was no longer needed.
This made me feel like I was useless and ever since I’ve not got another job, my husband works and a lot of hours so I hardly see him. I cook and do all the cleaning at home but I feel like I have no actual purpose in life I feel like I don’t live in the real world anymore. I feel like a recluse, the only days I feel ok is when I have something to do outside of my house, like seeing my sister, taking my niece and nephew to the park. Going to meet and see friends. I feel embarised and inadequate. I’ve started driving lessons recently and feel I am progressing and my confidence is coming back, I’ve also started looking for a job, but I’m so scared I’m going to end up back where I am. Plus the only jobs going are very social and I don’t think I’m ready.i also only have a few work experiences so it seems every job I look at going for you need at least a years experience to be even considered for an interview. Just feel stuck, anyone else feel like this ?

Maybe just think about small steps...

Today I'm giving to walk to the park and smile at two people

Today I'm going to tidy up my CV

Today I'm going to find out about volunteering

Seriously volunteering is the way to greet your confidence back! Even at a very small level... Have you got an elderly relative you child visit each week? A neighbour who's dog you could walk? Is there a charity shop near where you could offer a few hours? A hospice where you could become a befriender?

What about quite straightforward part time work like a school crossing patrol, or retail?

Good luck! X

Practically, my first thought was do you need to work for the extra income or just for your mental health? If the latter then look into volunteering, you never know what doors that may open.

Emotionally, I'm in a similar position except I have employment. I've been signed off for almost 6 months now awaiting an operation. My DH works horrendous hours and SSP isn't enough of a bridge so we're are financially crippled. I've been trying a hundred different ways to earn extra cash but I'm becoming even more reclusive than I was before and I've never been a social butterfly.
I've been volunteering in a school adhoc just to regain some routine and adult conversation.

It's awful and adds to the mental health issues you've undoubtedly already experienced. As PP has said, small steps! Write a tick list of things you'd like to achieve and then break them down into easy and digestible chunks.

@Wobblebot both really, Mornings are starting to get worse the past few months, I was the same last year all through the hot summer we had I found it hard to get out of bed and when I did I would just get the housework done and cook meals out to freeze out of boredom and go for a walk. It was so depressing, me and my husband need treatment to have a baby aswell and I think this has made it so much worse. My life is just not how I pictured it. I have a spare room waiting to be filled with a child. I clean it every day and feel like crying everytime I’m in it.
I’ve been to the doctors about the mental health and just get pills chucked at me or cbt counselling but it doesn’t help.
I’ve actually applied for some volunteering but didn’t hear anything back 🤷🏻‍♀️.
I’m going to a place in my town Tuesday to get help with my cv as I’ve applied for jobs but don’t hear anything back.
I feel at my age I should have so much more in my life but I don’t. Wish I had a job and a car and a baby on the way at some point but I don’t have any of those. It seems like it’s so easy for other people just not me.
Oh god I’m being so “oh poor me” I swear I’m not always like this, just needed somewhere to vent as I don’t like talking to anyone else about it.