Feel so anxious about dd and school and friends and everything

[Antonia3]

I just can't stop fretting about her - her best friend left the school a term into Reception and whilst she has made friends she doesn't really have a 'best friend' and all the other girls have such tight little groups. DD does her best but my heart bleeds for her

Also worry she isn't fulfilling her potential as she has done OK in most things but I know she can do so much better than just below average. I just feel school is doing nothing for her confidence, really. And then to make matters worse, we are moving when she starts Juniors, so that'll be a huge upheaval and am stressing it's not fair on her (though the move is such a positive thing for the family as a whole)

DH thinks I am losing the plot and says she is fine. Why can't I just calm down?

ps. Have posted under a different name from usual for this.

It's just unbearable standing on the sidelines, as it were - I want to wrap her up and never let her out of my arms again, ever!

My mum says the most important thing is to keep a sense of perspective - but I just can't seem to do that at the moment and I am constantly mulling over sodding school etc. Argh!

try to think positive.
maybe she will find a very nice best friend there.

oh, I do hope so

just hope I can get through the next two years without worrying the whole time. Worrying it will have a damaging effect on her confidence to be always a little on the outside...

does she have other activities? like ballet? swimming?

yes, ballet, tap, swimming, recorders and football

and lots of friends out of school and IN school, it's just I really miss her having a BEST friend to hold hands with at school, someone who is always beside her... That prob says more about me than dd, thinking about it

I teach Reception, and honestly, they change their friendships day by day! In my experience it is very rare to have a best friend at this age, they mostly just play together in groups. Have you had a little chat with her teacher?

thanks, Cazee- yes, have spoken to her teacher about it since her bf left - she says it has been a good thing for dd as she was reliant on her bf and now she plays with everyone/chooses the activities she wants rather than according to whether bf doing it and has grown in confidence....but, honestly, some of the girls really do have best friends/little tight groups - the same as dd used to have but hasn't any more!

bump

jesus get a grip. theres nothing wrong - the girl will grow up o be a fruit if you carry on being over protective.

a fruit?

I do agree that BFs at Reception age aren't necessarily a good thing, especially with girls who (IMO) are more prone than boys to spectacular fall-outs with BFs and are then left with no-one. Far better to be in a group, whether on the edges of the group or the centre of a clique. Friendships do change so quickly at that age. You do need to relax over it - I know there is a huge sense of loss of control as one's kids start school and you can't influence how things are there or kiss everything better, and I agree it's scary, but if you feel like this now, how will it be when your DD is a teenager and a load of stuff will be out of your control?

thanks Hassled - slightly more constructive than HPD's post.