Is it normal when starting counselling

[happypotamus]

... to feel worse rather than better?
I don't have anyone else to ask about this and hope someone might have relevant experience.
I was referred to someone based at my work because I lost all my resilience and wasn't coping at work (my lovely manager tells me I am burnt out). I reluctantly agreed to see her, thinking it can't be any worse than feeling like such an emotional wreck as I was, but I have been twice now and feel worse but in a different way. I don't feel worse about work, that had to some extent got better by itself by the time the appointment came round, but now I feel more like a shit person in general who isn't doing anything right because she talks about solutions and makes it all sound so simple but I know I can't do the things she is talking about because I have been doing the job for a very long time.
Since the first appointment last week I have started self-harming regularly, which hasn't happened for years (self-harm was a problem for me in teens and at university). That's a big problem, because my job requires me to wear short sleeves. I can't admit that to anyone, but there are a couple of people who I was reasonably open with about how I was struggling with work in the first place , so I am worse off now with extra issues that I can't talk to anyone about.
Does this suggest that either counselling or this counsellor isn't for me, or is it normal to feel worse because you are being forced to confront problems? Do I just need to give it longer to get used to the process? I don't think talking to someone else instead is going to be an option, because she is flexible with appointment times around my shifts and has some idea of the issues I have with my job, which would be even harder to explain to someone who isn't based in the organisation.

And, no, telling her what I have written here isn't going to be possible.

Could you get counseling somewhere else?
You need to feel free to talk to your counselor.

It's not entirely uncommon - therapy can have lots of up and downs as it can be a difficult rollercoaster process - though not being able to tell your therapist about the kinds of things in the post is concerning and not a good sign.

A book that was recommended to me that might be of use to you is Talk Yourself Better by Ariane Sherine which gives an overview and covers a lot of questions about talking therapies.

Thanks for replying.
You both make the point that I should be able to talk to her about it. Well, I always knew from experience that opening up and talking to her was going to be very difficult, I am not very good at that. I am surprised that I said anything much at all in the first appointment. I don't think that would be necessarily easier with someone else.

It is normal for things to feel worse in the early stages and it sounds to me (perhaps reading between the lines) that you might have got into the habit of avoiding or minimising your issues? If so then it is going to be difficult for you to open up but from my own experience I would like to encourage you that it really is worth it and can be life-changing. For me my anxiety got worse as I became more aware of it (I was in denial that I had a problem) but once I worked through that first phase it really has made such a positive difference to my life. It sounds as though continuing as you are is not really an option, so do keep trying, it is very early days for you and therapy is rarely a quick fix, but for that reason is more likely to bring permanent positive change. Also, you can tell your counsellor how you are feeling and that you are worried about feeling worse.

Well I think that counselling can stir up difficult feelings and can make you feel "worse" in a way. For me sometimes it's a bit like that thing where you are clearing out a cupboard and you're at the point where everything is out all over the floor and you begin to wish you hadn't started because it all feels overwhelming.
However, your counsellor is not a mind reader and it will be very tricky for her to help you appropriately if you are not able to work toward sharing what you are feeling and experiencing. It may be that if she understood how you were perceiving her approach she would take a different approach. Can you write down some of what you wrote here. Can you at least say to her that you are finding it really difficult to talk to her about your reactions to the sessions so that you can explore a little of why that is and what would really help you.

This week was not as bad. I did manage to ask her if it is normal to feel worse, but could not elaborate when she asked me to tell her about it. She said it isn't unusual to feel like that.
When we first met she told me that what I said would be confidential unless I or other people are at risk. I do worry where the line is, and whether the (very superficial) self-harm would be considered a risk. I don't want to take the chance.
Also, she told me she will no longer be working there after the beginning of July, so I don't think it would be a good idea to say anything that's going to potentially open a massive can of worms when there will only be another 3 or 4 sessions.

Can you ask to see someone else as it seems that you would benefit from a longer term relationship with your counsellor than this one can give to you?

Self-harming really won't cross the line about breaking confidentiality. It's actually very common and she will be used to dealing with it. But if it makes you more comfortable you don't have to tell her straight away and can wait until you feel a bit more trust in the relationship.