Therapist argued with me that C-ptsd does not exist

[insightopedia]

I had seen this therapist before and stopped therapy as he used to be pushy and strong in his opinions.

I needed to start therapy again and after frustrations of not finding an empathetic one , I decided to try him again as this therapist is highly qualified, has mentioned different therapy approaches on his profile - cbt., schema, compassionate focussed CBT, EMDR and many more.

So I had my 1st session with him 2 days ago. I said I think I have complex ptsd as I seem to have symptoms, had a lot of childhood trauma and difficult relationships recently.

He said I don't have PTSD. For PTSD, one has to have a near death experience.
I told him I am not talking about PTSD, it's complex PTSD and explained a bit about it. He said I should stop reading on wikipedia. There is nothing called CPTSD. Then he got up and went to get a book (DSM manual) and open the chapter on PTSD and showed me that. I told him there are books written on C-PTSD and he laughed it off.
I told him I felt dismissed and he said I speak very fast and it is overwhelming for him.

Even early on in session when I was very calm, I found him dismissive, not letting me finish sentence and speaking over me. It was like he needed to lecture me without even understanding what I was saying.

I am very confused. I feel I shouldn't go back to him. At the same time I need help.
I went to him specifically for schema. He told me that schema takes long. I asked him approximate minimum number of sessions. He said he doesn't know. He said in extreme personality disorder it is over a year but said I don't seem to have any personality disorder. Still couldn't say an approximate minimum duration for me. So I don't know if therapy is for 6 months, 1 year, 5 years.

I need to self fund it. Also he is not willing to talk about the goal of therapy. His answer was on the lines of he doesn't know what happens after we finish whatever required number of schema sessions.

The reason I am confused is that I have spoken to 3 therapists - all very highly qualified and found them all dismissive and eager to speak. I now feel I should avoid PhDs with 20 years experience, perhaps such rich experience and qualification make them overconfident and they think they know better than patient/client about her problems.

He also said he needed to challenge me. For what? As some of things he told me, I was in agreement with from start. He didn't listen/ understand what I was saying and was ready to counter answer.

In the end of session, I told him I felt we argued over C-PTSD and that I might appear okay in the session but I am going through a lot and have no support so expect a little gentle approach. He said next time bring with you what you have read on CPTSD, I would see.

I googled again CPTSD is not just on wikipedia, NHS, mind, etc recognise it as a mental health condition.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/complex/

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/complex-ptsd/#.XO58jS2ZM6g

Please help me decide if I should go back to this therapist. My gut feeling say I shouldn't but I can be wrong.

Thanks SimplySteveReduxAre you based in the UK? I hope it's ok if I pm you as I need some advice.

Thanks Arion. I have read Pete walker's book. I will check Judith Herman.

This therapist said he did not hear of C-PTSD. I came home and check online, NHS and mind have information on CPTSD. It may not be a mental disorder of clinical level to be included in DSM but to say never heard of it is a bit strange for a therapist. Also, the way he denied CPTSD was very strong.

Prior to this in the session, I felt he was eager to talk than listen. E.g. I said I know my mum had a difficult life and is alone. I feel bad for her, so try to support her as much I can but I sometimes I feel a bit frustrated inside that I have no emotional support(My mum lives far. I had a surgery and my mum didn't even ask me a single thing about it, not even how I was feeling. My life is full of such examples - didn't tell him because what's the point of arguing with therapist). He lectured me but she alone. I felt he has a need to lecture.
I understand she is alone and have her own worries to occupy her mind.I didnt need him to lecture me when I had told him that. But as a human being I sometimes feel I had people who care about me at times.

I had seen the same therapist almost 2 years ago over 10 sessions and I had found him pushy and strong that time as well. He used to make my daily schedule hourwise like what time I would go to gym. And in next would laugh if I say I couldn't do a particular activity as per that schedule. I admit I am a bit sensitive too.

I had decided to see him thinking I am still struggling, perhaps I need a bit of push. But I felt he was way too strong for first session.

Anyways, I am going to cancel next appointment with him and have some time to think about therapy.

Yes I'm in the UK, feel free to pm @insightopedia :)

Also, you should post on the "Stately Homes" thread in Relationships, there are many of us there with extensive childhood trauma.

There is no way you’ll establish a beneficial therapeutic relationship with this therapist.

I have C-PTSD and I have learned that a CBT based approach isn’t beneficial for me at all. It’s just too direct. I’ve even found that therapists with a CBT background who offer other styles of therapy as well can be too direct, as the CBT style infuses the other approaches in their practice.

The UKCP has 11 Schools. It’s worth looking into the different styles to see which you think will benefit you the most and taking it from there.
www.psychotherapy.org.uk/about-ukcp/how-we-are-structured/ukcp-colleges/. For me it’s Integrative or Constructivist.

Also maybe worth thinking about the circumstances of how the C-PTSD arose and how it manifests in you. If it’s related to childhood or you manifest with physical trauma symptoms, think about finding a therapist that uses non-talk aspects, whether that is a mixed talk/embodied approach, or an art or movement based therapy.

Just straight talking can be re-traumatizing for some people.

OP, I've read the whole thread and, trust me, that therapist is not working in your interests and actually is working against them. The most striking example of that is how he responded to your disclosure about your mum not having any supportive emotional contact to offer you. He ought to have focused entirely on the legitimacy of your feelings at that point, shown empathy and offered suggestions for how the therapeutic relationship might support you emotionally, with the aim of helping you over time to learn ways of holding or containing and soothing yourself under emotional pressure. Instead, he defended your mother and made you feel unreasonable (wrong) for needing the emotional support (love) that your family has never (or rarely) provided.

I'm appalled. Seriously, get rid of him. I understand you're weary of searching for the right fit, but it'll be harder for you down the line if you stay in that destructive, anti-therapeutic 'arrangement' (it's not a relationship). You deserve so much better.

By the way, I'm hearing a lot recently IRL from people who find the majority of therapists they come across unfeeling, stern and money obsessed

Thanks Pizza and whatever for your posts.

whatever, you are spot on about what I need from a therapist. But I have noticed similar (not this extreme) lack of empathy or expression of empathy from other therapists as well. I used to be very focussed on educational degrees of a therapist but have now realised for a therapist to be effective with CPTSD or similar complexities, a therapist need to have certain personality traits.
Do you any suggestions for the kind of therapy I might need? I feel at the moment, I should stay away from CBT.

Pizza, not only he was too straight, he made assumptions that I am lack understanding and jumped with his responses without actually paying attention or grasping what I was saying (parroted what I had said in lecturing style). I felt he was the one who didn't understand.

Hope you have made significant progress in your recovery from C-PTSD. What kind of therapy worked for you?

Gosh, he sounds absolutely awful, there is no way I'd be going back.

I have long term depression with some mixed mental health problems in my past. I have had CBT type therapy, which I didn't like at all, all past issues were swept under the carpet, its very much an in the now therapy.

I have also had CPN linked therapy (through NHS, after a hospital admission for my mental health) which I found much more useful, not sure what the approach was but generally just talking through difficulties and CPN helping me to work my way around and understand things better.

Can you access any NHS services?