Feeling so down and lonely

[IAmAlwaysLikeThis]

I live abroad with my husband who is from this country. Not many friends here as it's hard to get in with the local people, and foreign people like me come and go every couple of years.

I have always suffered with my mh, but it has mainly been good the last few years. Today I'm really suffering though. I feel so lonely and like I have no one to talk to. My husband is great, but obviously he has friends and family here.

I was seeing a therapist but she was a bit rubbish really, or at least she wasn't the right fit for me. She just tried to get me to 'think positively' which doesn't really work for me. I KNOW the steps I need to take, I know what I SHOULD do, but sometimes I still fall into depression/anxiety.

I had a stupid internet argument today (not on here) and ended up having a ton of people pile on and misrepresent or misunderstand what I was saying. Sometimes I feel like people expect perfection from other people, if you put a foot wrong, they all pile on. (I know, don't get into internet arguments, I shouldn't.)

I just wanted to post really and feel less alone.

You're not alone. You can do this. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel?

James

Bump in case anyone is listening.

It's rubbish, isn't it, when one feels so low?
Something my counsellor said to me, was "Just because you FEEL like this, doesn't mean it necessarily IS". I can catastrophise a bit...
I struggle with this, but it makes sense to me.
Maybe we can challenge our feelings, tho ' I hear you when you say you're lonely. Loneliness is horrid, when you only have yourself for company.
I know it sounds a bit fickle, but can you get yourself lost in a jigsaw puzzle?

A more expensive option is doing up a dolls house, I looked up on the internet how to do the electrics.
Do you have children? Could you play a game with them when they get home from school? Yatzee saved my life when I was so low with 3 children 8, 5 and 2, but I could play Yatzee with the 8 year old.
Can you go off to a market, and wander round...
I know these all sound shallow but they are baby steps to fill the time when you are alone or feeling low.
Do you have a job? Could you get, even a temporary post or something to get you up in the morning.
Is there a language barrier. That's hard, as it's language and culture one is learning.
Best of luck.

Thinking of you OP

I could have written your post lovey, I do get it, It's very hard not being in your home country. Well done for seeking therapy though, that's more than I've done. Is there an ex-pat group you could join?
I know that might not be considered integrating/you end up in an ex-pat bubble, but you might find some friends that way - I found a lovely group of women that I see each month. Or a book club?
I totally get where you are coming from wrt knowing what you need to do but not being able to do it - I am still hoping at some point to do my 20 mins exercise, smoothie and positive thing a day....but Life gets in the way.
The internet can be fantastic or it can pull you down - I can be really supportive or really snarky depending on topic although if I am the latter I usually apologise or follow up with less snark but any row on the net means I need to step away from it for a day or two.
[cue Pauline Fowler It's not worth it voice!]
Hope you are feeling better tomorrow x

I understand the feeling that everyone expects perfection, and how isolating it is. I’ve had one of those days today.
You definitely aren’t alone on that one.
And as for a therapist who told you “think positively”, frankly I’d save my money to spend on a trip home instead.
I hope you’re feeling better. Now I’m going to get some sleep & hope tomorrow is better here too

It is hard living abroad and can be difficult to friends, I know this from experience. It can also be harder to manage MH without having a job etc.

Thank you for the replies.

grammar I think a jigsaw puzzle would be a nice idea. The weather is nice here now too so I should take the dog out for longer walks or to the park or something.

I have a job and it's actually very social (teaching) but my work place isn't very chatty or sociable.

rage there are lots of expats here but it's hard to make friends who are in my position, most people are much younger and only here for a year. There is a book group that I've been meaning to join but I keep putting it off (I was working really long hours til quite recently.)

senior it's really hard to find a good therapist here. I think it can be really hard for the local ones to understand the isolation that foreigners experience here and the foreign ones costs an arm and a leg. Sadly, trips home tend to stress me out as family relationships aren't great and I don't have many friends there either. Oh dear, what a sad sack!

dreichI do have a job here, but yes, it's really hard to manage atm. I hope things improve soon.

Really thank you for the replies, they helped a lot.