Just saying it out loud.

[GetThroughTheDay]

I’m having a bad day today, mental health wise. Been feeling tearful since I woke up and am fighting not to cry at work. It is highly probably that my productivity and work standards will be lower today as a result. The big positive is that I have recognised this, I have an understanding of what has caused it and I’m confident that I’ll feel better tomorrow, this is a big step in my mental health journey.

My feelings today are 100% related to an internal struggle between wanting to be me and stay true to my values but also being deeply concerned/obsessed about what others think of me when I speak out. Fighting this internal battle and also trying to hide it at work is exhausting.

I’d love to be able to say all this out loud in my work place. I’d love to be able to openly cry without the knowledge that I would be judged as unprofessional, weak, not tough enough. I’m ambitious and I want to get to the top of my organisation, and when I get there I want to try to change this culture. But right now it would be career suicide to openly admit how I’m feeling today, despite all the Mental Health Campaigning in my office.

Do you think it will ever be acceptable to cry at work?

Thanks Mumsnet for being here to let me rant this “out loud” somewhere. I’m feeling a bit better now.

Unfortunately at work we often have to hide our true selves & be professional, calm, unemotional etc.

Depending on the job you are in, crying can be seen as a weakness & also some people just don't know how to deal with other people getting upset at work as it makes them feel awkward.

Personally I get really paranoid a lot at work even though I'm on medication for it; I worry that colleagues are saying I'm useless & slow & that I will lose my job.
The irony is that if I get too paranoid I have to stay off work then I really am more likely to lose my job due to my level of sickness.
The stupid thing is that I'm actually quite good at my job.

It definitely helps to be able to talk about these things online or better still in real life if possible.

The thing with mental health week, I feel things like depression & anxiety are seen as more acceptable now but problems like mine (schizoaffective disorder) & the symptoms of psychosis eg have a real stigma to them and I can't even discuss them with my best friends let alone colleagues.

Hi op.
Understand totally what your saying.
I’ve had similar feelings at work and felt I just had to keep a lid on them for fear of being judged, weak etc.
I work in a caring profession as well .
I’m quite a private person so probably hide it better than others could. Saying that though once I went through a nasty break up and didn’t digress this but still a couple of people knew something was up..
Do you take any medication ?

Oops just seen that you are on medication

Hey OP,

I could have written this post myself, but not until reading it did I realise this. I always beat myself up when I feel like this at work,when I all honesty I should be looking after myself. So thank you for posting and I hope you're feeling less tearful today

Thanks all. Nice to know I'm
Not alone. Def feeling a lot better now .