Suffered a mental breakdown, in need of some advice.

[Queenbeexo]

This week I suffered in what I can only describe as a mental breakdown. Constant crying, rocking back and fourth, shaking and not feeling like I’m even alive on this earth (if that makes sense to anyone) I had a baby 8 months ago and have another DC as well so have been under immense stress, but this week I reached breaking point. DH had to call out of hours mental health services because I threatened to take my own life. Currently waiting for a letter from my psychiatrist from the perinatal MHT as I do already suffer from BPD.
Last time I spoke to him he wanted me to go on amitriptyline but I just wondered if anyone had any experience on this medication and how it made you feel?

I have never felt so low in all my life, this is seriously dark times for me and DH hasn’t been into work since my “episode” because he is petrified about what I will do to myself. I can’t keep living like this, I have no family support on my side but DH’s parents help out an awful lot and especially since my breakdown. I thought I would enjoy motherhood more the second time around because I know what I’m doing this time but I am just filled with complete dread and sadness.

I have amitriptyline because it helps me sleep, it doesn't help my mood at all. Perhaps they're suggesting it as a short term measure to help you rest?

Amitriptyline is the only AD to have helped me and I've tried a lot. It's not a magic pill but it does make you sleep and levels you out so that you don't have quite such devastating lows.

It's an unusual choice for a first AD though. If I use a different pharmacy I get a bit of a double take when they see the dosage. It's used in very low dose for nerve pain and bedwetting but a therapeutic dose for depression is quite high and it can have a lot of side effects. The dry mouth is pretty shit and I had some dizziness the first couple of weeks but apart from that it's fine and it works. Possibly that's why they've prescribed it for you, because it's faster acting than the usual suspects. Set alarms though. Seriously. I have never slept so long in my life. Left to my own devices I can sleep 19 hour stretches.

One thing to be aware of though is that it is very lethal in overdose. If you need to take precautions then do so because Tricyclics are much more dangerous in overdose than SSRIs

I found it to be a good drug. It makes you feel a bit dopey so take it in the evening.

Honestly, I would give it a good try. And if you didn’t like it after say 6months then talk to your GP and come off of it.