Mental Health Act: my DD not sharing info

[ThanksMateThanksMate]

Concisely as I can..
DD16 is 4 years down the road of poor mental health. Atm, in the ugly clutches of Anorexia (AN). Currently 1 week into short term detention following crisis.
At 16, she is exercising her right under MHA
to refuse her treatment and care being shared with next of kin.

She sometimes allows me to visit but there is no discussion around her care or status.
I fully understand and appreciate how unwell she is and how the law makes sense but I am feeling so bloody helpless.
I know having facts about how she is (even a 1 minute phone call to the ward to find out if she's settled) won't change her illness but it feels so cruel to leave a traumatised parent in the dark and all I can do is trust the health professionals will do their job. (I do)

I have to assure her siblings that, though we don't know how she really is, we need to have faith.

Staff are very sympathetic towards us because they can see we are devastated and that this awful illness is ruling the show.

Can ANYONE offer some solace or suggestions for coping?

I'm in a not dissimilar position.. though my DD is older. Also in the grip of anorexia... she was inpatient earlier this year and it looks very likely she will be again soon unless there is heck of an improvement. Heartbreaking is not the word (we have been in this hell for 10 years with some improvement that massive relapses). On top of that she now has a mortgage and works locum so isn't getting any pay.

All you can do really is try and find support for yourself..whether that's through friends and family or through a counsellor. I've never been one for therapy (for myself) but have actually found it helpful to download to a professional stranger at times. it doesn't take the horrible dragging fear away but it does help a little.

Feel free to PM me if you want an ear... I totally get it.

Thank you for a lovely reply.
I do believe this is a lifelong condition with remission and relapse so I do need to get used to her having it as an adult and not always being involved in her care.

Next stage is back home to family taking over refeeding again so I suppose the fact were locked out of info just now will soon be irrelevant

I just wish there was more consideration for parents of 16 and 17 year olds who are barely adults but have all the same legal rights. It's a hired transition period.

Hope our daughters have more healthy times ahead xx

*a horrid transition period

I don't want to fill you with hope as I know this is a hideous illness, but for what it's worth I had anorexia in adolescence and was hospitalised for six months due to serious suicide attempts and self neglect. I missed a lot of school but with the support of the inpatient team, my family and teachers managed to get my A-levels. I subsequently overcame the illness (in reality this took 10 Years or so), went to medical school and qualified as a psychiatrist two years ago. I have a lovely little boy who keeps me busy, I've learnt to tolerate my imperfect body and I love food! So miracles can happen. I can't imagine what it's like from a parent/family perspective but I imagine it's as bad as for the anorexic themselves. Have they offered you any family work or individual support? The charity b-eat can be very helpful.

@Annabel28 thank you so much for this. Any iota of hope, I'm grabbing it.

She was first diagnosed over 3 years ago but didn't quite tick all the boxes or become seriously unwell until anxiety and then genuine suicide attempts trumped everything.
We have had the most positive interventions available, luckily and she's probably still here, as are we, because of that.
That's what makes this "section" more difficult to take - it's like a media blackout with nobody allowed to talk to us. I'm putting that down to AN trying for ultimate control - you know the power of it more than any of us.
We just need to keep her safe and exposed to all the help until it's time for her to take control back for herself.
Thank you so so much for your reply. One day in the future I hope she can inspire younger girls going through this (and their parents) as you have xxx

Annabel.. My dd1 is also a medic.. her anorexia started during A levels, but somehow (after nearly dying at the end of first year) she somehow got through and is now a doctor herself. Sadly after 10 relatively good years the demon is back, but she never got the right help all those years ago which might have made the difference.

She was recently admitted with a bmi of 13 :/ and still working as a locum (!)(went locum to save money for house and wedding)

I really hope someday she can beat this hideous illness. She has good insight but the anxiety is sky high.