Off Citalopram for 3 months and now can't sleep properly

[Bluecardi2]

I slowly came off my antidepressants as advised by my GP. I am irritable but the worst thing is that I have been waking early for the past couple of weeks. By early I mean I wake between 2 and 3 and can't go back to sleep. I have about 3 hours sleep a night. I feel terrible. But if I go back on the Citalopram now how will I ever come off it? There is not a lot of help available here for counselling etc (they even closed the list for counselling as the waiting times were ridiculous). Where I live is rated as the worst for mental health services in the country, rated as inadequate 3 times is row now. I can't afford private help. Does anyone know of anything natural I could take to keep me asleep through the night? I'm getting really low again but don't want to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life.

Does magnesium really help insomnia? Just want to die today. Have to take my little girl to a party. Had 2 hours sleep last night. Just want to curl up and die instead.

And yes I know I'm talking to myself. Just getting it out.

Oh, I’m in a similar situation.

I was on citalopram at varying doses for almost 8 years. I started tapering down in January and came off it altogether in March.

I now can’t sleep. I don’t wake up in the early hours but I can’t get to sleep. And then I’m up at half 5. So it’s not as extreme as yours but still bad.

I’m hoping I can power on through and it’ll pass.

Well done for coming off the anti-depressants. I'm going to have to come off mine due to blood test results and I'm worried about sleep too. There is a good thread here about sleep aids:

To ask best over the counter sleep aid http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3588323-To-ask-best-over-the-counter-sleep-aid

Lots of options to try... things that have worked for me are 'drowsy' antihistamines, valerian (you may need to take it for a while before it works), melatonin and herbal tablets with a mix of ingredients such as pasiflora and hops - there is a nytol herbal sleep aid with this type of ingredients. I believe magnesium does help too but it's not instant.

Why did you come off the Citalopram? People say you 'shouldn't' be on them long term but why on earth not? If it helps you live a better life, why is it any different to someone taking daily tablets to reduce their blood pressure? Or aspirin to thin their blood? Or painkillers to cope with arthritis?

Magnesium is supposed to help with sleep if you take it just before bed., My mum used some of the herbal sleeping tablets (contained Valerian) you get from H & B or Boots but they didn't work for my dad. Similarly some worked from him but not her so it seems to be trial and error!!

Can I ask why you came off the anti depressants? If they work, why not be on them for the rest of your life?

Nobody worries about weaning themselves off insulin. Anti depressants are exactly the same- the chemicals in your body need to be adjusted to keep you well.

Thank you for your messages. Totheletterofthelaw - I hope you can power through it too. Sorry to hear you are in a similar situation.

Mountain Dweller - thank you very much for all the suggestions, I will try them! Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Blobby10 and BertrandRussell - in answer to your question, I suppose I feel like I shouldn't be on them forever because my depression started in reaction to something that happened - I suffered a loss at 16 weeks pregnant, and, without going into detail, it was basically my fault it happened and that is extremely hard to live with. It happened 5 years ago and I feel like I should see if I can cope without them. You may well he right though and I may have to go back on them. It's just the lack of sleep I can't deal with. Thank you for taking the time to reply, much appreciated.

I was put on Citalopram almost 11 years ago after a life changing accident at work, I went from loving my job and working 11 hours a day to a full stop. That was a huge loss and left me not knowing what to do with my days. I was prescribed Citalopram and was on them until November last year, when my doctor decided I didn't need them anymore. I lowered the dose and only took one every other day, then every three days and so on, until I was off them totally.
I slowly became irritable, felt lower and lower each day, I was not sleeping or waking up very early and really got fed up, my GF suggested asking the doctor to go back onto them a few weeks ago. I've been back on the 20mg for just over a week and feel only slightly better, I know there's a way to go until I'm back to my best,but I'm very hopeful. I do have other issues and people who care about me and know me very well have mentioned that I've not been in a good place for a few months and they have asked me if I'm OK, I just pass it off as the pains in my back and hips are getting me down, without me realising the lack of Citalopram, was the issue.
For me, it's a necessary medication that I suffer no side effects from, in other words, it's a Godsend.

Hope you get something sorted out - sleep deprivation is not used as a form of torture for nothing!! it's evil to try and live a life when sleep deprived. xx

Going back on them because I can't cope anymore and I can't afford to pay for help. I know this post sounds ridiculous. I cannot cope with anything any more, even things I used to cope with It's a very hot day here and I have bowed legs so I can't just throw in a pretty dress or skirt. Worse still it looks my 6 year old has the same legs. Of course she doesn't care now but in a few years they will depress her. She can't eat out because she has nut and sesame allergies so she will hate that too. And worst of all I have failed to give her a sibling and I am 47 now so I never will so she will be lonely too. I just want to die today. Maybe I will, fingers crossed. Have a good laugh at my pathetic post.

I deserve to be this miserable but my daughter deserves so much better. If I kill myself my partner can find someone young and she can have a sibling so that will be one of her problems solved.

They would both literally be better off if I was dead.

bluecardi42 you don't sound ridiculous but your daughter and partner are definitely better off with you in the world.

Sending a big hug.

Is there someone you can talk to? Would you call Samaritans?

Talk to us, @Bluecardi2

There is no shame on going back on the antidepressants if that's right for you. Coming off them is hard hard work.

Talk to us about your daughter - what kind of things is she into?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Palahvah thank you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. My little girl is wonderful but I worry about the future because it feels like so much is against her, especially having a depressed mum I suppose. I want her to be happy growing up, because I definitely wasn't. I am going to try and access some online cbt, don't know if there's any free online that I can access. I've found one that you need your GP to refer you to, so I could go and beg for that in the morning I suppose. It's so hard to get any help, I suppose there's just too many people needing it. I wish my OH was more understanding, he says "I don't know what good that will do" when I told him about looking for cbt. He should be encouraging me and he should be glad I'm trying to do something positive after the way I felt this morning. He doesn't help me at all. I just wish he would notice what an effort everything is for me and say well done occasionally. Thank you again for caring x

Had a much better day yesterday. Now today I'm back to waking at 3am. So so tired after reading for a bit but can't sleep as too many things upsetting me. Mainly that my daughter deserves to be happy and I've ruined her life by being a misery but mostly by not pushing for a sibling for her. I get Hyperemesis and I couldn't cope last time. I wish so much that I could have been stronger and braver. Just want to get up and run away today. I'm so tired. My poor little girl deserves so much better.

So many smug happy people at school drop off. I'm so bitter and selfish that I can't bear happy people anymore, especially ones with their big happy families. I f ing hate myself. Want to start my life again

You haven't ruined her life. Plenty of only children in this world, they get on just fine. Siblings bring their own challenges!
Glad you had a much better day on Monday, are you talking to someone?
People put on a good front, in real life and on SM - we don't know what they're going through inside.
Comparison is the thief of joy so just focus on looking after your daughter and getting yourself well. Baby steps.
Did you manage to have a look at the link that MN posted?

Hi I'm new to the forum I've just currently been prescribed citroplam 20mg for generalised anxiety disorder I'm on day 3 today as been a bad day I've felt really anxious all day ( before taking it I felt anxious every other day) how long does it take for the side effects to settle down also I have pupil dilation should I be worried is it my body getting use to the medication..