Paranoid Schizophrenia / BiPolar - am i 'helping'?

[StripeyChina]

I am very close to a person who has a long term dx of both of these. I am not medically qualified (I work in a talking therapy capacity). I do not work with my friend and am not involved in his care.

He has been sectioned twice in the last 12m, remaining in hospital for around 2months each time. Given Olanzipine and Benzodiazepine.

He chooses not take his meds on a maintenance basis.
He is currently in constant contact with me and is clearly still unwell.

My question is: am I helping him at all by providing a 'listening ear' or am i actually making it worse by not giving him a 'reality check' when he talks at length about very delusional ideas? I think he needs more treatment and maintenance meds but i cannot influence that. I care a great deal about supporting him as a friend and am concerned that i might be doing the very worst thing by listening for hours on end? I do steer him away from such topics and gently suggest that he is not being monitored by MI5 etc but of course that is what he wants to speak about and he gets distressed if i dismiss his fears.

Can anyone with experience of these conditions or their loved ones advise please?
Caveat - my two very different children have ASD, so I am very aware that each person with a label is a different individual.

This is a really tough one. I haven't been under a section but I have some experience of paraniod beliefs during an episode of psychosis. My own experience is that once the beliefs are entrenched it doesn't really matter what people say is and isn't true. In fact people telling me I am imagining things is only going to make my paranoia worse as I will no longer trust them either. The only person who could tell me I was wrong was my DH because I trust him even more than I trust myself and that held even when I was delusional.

The most helpful thing other people did for me was to listen as you are and gently encourage me towards professional services and to seek help. If you are really worried he may be at risk you could contact his community MH team (assuming he is still under their care) and just let them know your concerns. They won't be able to talk to you about him but they will listen to what you have to say and take it into account.

Honestly I really don't think you can hurt someone by listening and you are doing a very kind and helpful thing by just being there for your friend when they most need you.

Thank you PowerBadgersUnite - thats really helpful of you.x

I would call someone if i felt he was in danger or about to put someone else in danger. yes. If i called his Team he'd never speak to me again i think. As a friend i might have to risk that in certain circs.

It is difficult as he is elderly, married but doesnt speak to his wife about it. She is unaware of our friendship and i dont want to cause him stress by breeching that. But i kind of wonder that he can 'turn it off' for her but not me so wonder if i am in some way enabling it which is not helpful for him, iyswim? I guess he is not 'turning it off' (he was sectioned after all) but needs to speak to someone about it and has decided he can trust me? I just dont want to make it worse

I don't think he is turning it off for his wife. It might be he doesn't mention his fears to his wife but my experience is that for me having to hide it from people just bottled it up and made it worse. When I was ill nobody around me had any idea what was going on in my head but that didn't mean the paranoia was any less intense or real. Talking about it didn't make it more real just gave me a valve for the fear, if that makes sense. In fact talking about it gave me the space to work through it and eventually see how detached from reality I was.

I really don't think you are enabling anything by listening (this would imply he has control over his beliefs which I know I certainly didn't), in fact I would say the more people he can trust who he speaks to about it the better. Ideally he needs to speak to professionals but I appreciate this might be something the isn't happy to do at the moment and you can't force him.