It's ok not to be ok but....

[chuffingnora1]

....who do you talk to? I see these posts all over social media from my friends but I don't feel I could ever say to them 'I'm not ok' and at the moment I'm not. I feel embarrassed, ashamed and wouldn't even know where to start to tell someone how down I'm feeling. I know I hide it well so they'd never expect me to say it or ask how I am. Just wanted to share on here as I can't in RL

I'm the same. Ok at the moment but when it all goes to crap I don't tell anyone.
In a way it's good you know how you are feeling. Now's the time to look after yourself. These things will pass.

Are you getting any support at all? If not, now's a good time to go and see your GP. Or call the Samaritans (116 123). That's what they're there for. You don't have to be suicidal to ring.

Hi Wizzy sorry to hear that. It's crap isn't it. I woke up this morning and had a good sob. Then I put my face on and go to work and pretend I'm absolutely ok. I'm now home, put my pjs on and hiding from the world. Just want to curl up and hide.

Table no, no support. I don't want to go to my GP as I'm embarrassed and wouldn't know where to start. I really wish I had someone in RL I could talk to

Start here.

What's going on?

I understand. Piping up with 'I'm not ok' is a bit of a conversation stopper and not something many would blurt out especially feeling so vulnerable.
I saw my G.P and opened up to friends and family about how I was feeling by mentioning I had appointment and opened up that way.Friends will ask if you want to talk about your appointment and ask what's wrong. Once your friends know it feels like you can put down your mask and begin to work on you and getting better. Maintaining a facade is draining and prevents you getting better. I'd suggest speaking with friends in person. Social media isn't really the place.
Definitely speak to G.P and take it from there.

for all of you. I'm the same...not too bad today, but yesterday was shit. I have a really close friend who totally understands, as would most of my friends tbf, but yeah...I don't feel I can ever start a conversation saying "I'm not ok". That kind of contradicts itself doesn't it....

I fucking hate those simpering, virtue signalling social media posts. More often than not posted up by the least approachable, most self absorbed cretins online.

I have been desperately ill/low more than once and could count on two fingers the people who really know. None of which happen to be these vultures.

I know how you feel OP, at the difficulties of connecting with anyone who is interested/will listen.

Having a real low, bad time at the moment but can't talk about it to anyone. Who is there? Should I bother my sons...no way, it's my problem. I try but see the blank look on faces of 'friends' who have no idea how some people can't cope sometimes. Samaritans? Tried before and ended up feeling even worse than before the [one way] conversation.

All the understanding and empathy which is supposed to abound now that mental health issues are being embraced by the media...is simply not there. Not with anyone in my world anyway. I get sideways looks, micky taking and embarrassment. It all makes me feel worse.

There is no support out there for me, daily life is a struggle. I'm sinking tonight.

Hi Cafe, sorry your struggling too. I'm the same re the Samaritans, tried it also and feel like the conversation goes round in circles - don't get much from it.

Hope everyone has had a better day today? I started mine with a sob and I'm now in my pjs hiding away.

The Samaritans are a listening service. The NHS pushes them as an alternative to real help (that we all know is woefully inadequate) and in most cases it's just not appropriate. I think the Samaritans do amazing work, it's not their fault that they're trying to pick up the pieces where the state has failed.

(That wasn't a rant at anyone on here - more a "where the fuck is the proper help when you need it".)

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/gp-visit-guide

The above link contains some information on how to talk to your GP about mental health, and what kinds of support you can expect to be offered.

Nearly half of all GP appointments involve queries about mental health now; it isn't unusual at all.

An alternative would be to Google psychological wellbeing/talking therapies/IAPT services near you. Most of them allow adults to self refer in.

The sooner you seek help the sooner you can get better.

Sending best wishes to everyone on here - I've found this week difficult - lots of stuff in the media about 'get talking about MH issues' etc, but the reality is harder. Luckily I have a wonderful GP who totally gets it, but finding a good counsellor is hard and expensive. I'm struggling with existing depression and anxiety being worsened by an addict sibling and some other big life events - but I don't want to moan to friends. If I complain about being tired due to insomnia I have friends who have just had babies and get no sleep either, or have been through horrible things themselves and I'm very lucky in other ways.

Sorry you are feeling like this. There is proper help. Don't believe all the negative stuff. Look up your local IAPT service (if in England). No need to see the GP although your GP will be informed if you self refer.

Having a bad day - hows everyone else?

Yeah I'm not great op. I'm a befriender for a charity for old people who have no one to talk to. Having to make conversation today with an 88 year old who wants to die was too much for me. I'm struggling.

I’ve found people don’t want to hear when you aren’t ok, all the posts that say it’s ok not to be ok - yet, it might be ok but no one really wants to listen. For me, I think people feel I should be ok now, but I’m not, it doesn’t just go away - it’s there all the time, some days are just better than others:(

I'm not ok. Have been really down recently. DH is stressed at work so I have to carry on as normal being a SAHM with DC around all the time. I don't really have time for going for a walk to clear my head, or any other "self-care" stuff. There's just always a child around, under my feet, demanding attention, needing food, asking questions... DH knows how I'm feeling but he's got big deadlines at work coming up & can't really help much. All my friends have young children around, or their own responsibilities, & I don't feel like I can dump my DC on them so I can have a break.

Talking doesn't really help much. What am I supposed to say? Telling people I just need some brain space away from all the small people isn't going to help if no-one can actually take them away for a while! We don't have any local family - nearest is an hour away. My DM is currently supporting my DSis through her major depression & she looks to me to be the one she can whinge at about how difficult it is dealing with DSis. How can I tell her I'm just as bad?! She can't cope with one of us struggling!

Life is difficult sometimes. I just have to keep reminding myself that the DC won't be little & needy forever. Give it 10 years & my eldest will be going out with his mates & I'll be worried about him not being with me all the time!

I also feel exasperated when I read those "it's ok not to be ok" posts. Yes, it is - but you're still on your own! I find getting outside and doing something physical helps a bit when I'm feeling really anxious or low. And turning to selected friends has had surprising outcomes too so don't write that option off

Maybe write a self care plan? What helps you feel even remotely positive? Little things. For me it's a good tune, tidying and putting my environment into order, eating something nutritious, dancing, being warm and snuggly. Although lately I've lost interest in most of these I have to just do them and hope the pleasure comes back.

I know exactly how it feels.
Its ok not to be ok as long as you don't want to keep bringing it up.

Much better to have lunch for an hour with someone, so they can go home having done their bit.

There do seem to be a lot of us in the same boat!

I have found GP and ATP services pretty much next to useless.
All I ever get offered is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy stuff, which doesn't work for me. (Its all in your head that you're a crap person and your life is shit. Think happy thoughts and everything will be rainbows and unicorns! Yeah right)

I don't know what the answer is but it does get easier as kids grow up and you get more time to yourself.

Sorry to hear that @WizzyBee, I'm having another bad day. Doesn't help my husband I less than understanding and adds to my anxiety etc