I wish I was brave enough for suicide

[Gypsythatremains]

I pray everyday that I will fall asleep and not wake up, that I'll be in a fatal car crash that doesn't hurt anybody else, that I'll drop dead from some undiagnosed illness.

I hate myself and I'm starting to hate everyone around me too.

The only thing stopping me from suicide is my dogs. I can't leave them behind.

Swap dogs for my children and I’m with you. This will probably be pulled but have you contacted the Samaritans they were good for me as in they held me up until I could get better help

Please reach out for help. Talk to someone.

I think you need some support OP. Contact your GP or even the Samaritans. I don't think there is anything I can say to make you feel better, but know that people care and know that it won't always feel like this.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Oh OP and Grumpbum, this is heartbreaking to read. I have no words, but just know that I'm thinking of you both. Is there anyone either of you can talk to? Have you asked for help or support?

Sending you love and strength.

I’m under the care of a psychologist, community mental health team and about to start a year of DBT all the time my abusers wander free

Oh Grumpbum, that's horrific. Life can be so unbearably cruel. Sending you love.

Thank you all for being kind.

I've tried different medications and therapies but i've had suicidal thoughts for longer than I can remember.

Unfortunately I don't have anybody I could talk to. I've spoken to more therapists and GPs than I care to remember. I have no friends because of how I am. My family aren't interested.

I do have my beautiful dogs though.

Feel free to PM me OP. Sometimes we need to just talk ourselves around. Take those beautiful dogs for a walk and enjoy the sun (if you have sun). I hope you find some comfort somewhere OP. Sounds very difficult.

Oh my love, I'm so sorry.

I know exactly what you mean, I used to say I wouldn't be able to hurt myself but would be relieved if I didn't wake up. I get it

Please keep thinking of your beautiful doggos and how much they love you - remember animals are great judges of character and they've chosen you as their human for a reason xxx

I'm sorry you feel so rubbish. I've been there. It's not easy . Please speak to Samaritans or your gp. Do you have an assigned psychiatrist you can contact?

I've been there OP
I'm on ADs and finally got round to seeing a therapist - and it IS helping.

So your dogs are helping you a little. What kind are they?

Gypsy I’m so sorry your feeling like this. I too have felt the very same. Even now I have my days, believe me. If you ever want to chat, just message me. In the meantime get some help, call the Samaritans, whatever it takes.