I EAT TOO MUCH. I drink too much. I am just so crap... I just get by in life cos i do have a little something going on... when im not 3 stones overweight, im kinda pretty. I have a nice place. A good car. An alright income. When Im feeling motivated, I have an alright career but one that needs constant attention and hardwork (and is full of people opposite to me, which is why i feel extra crap)
My relationship is falling to bits but not becos we are not nice people but cos we are different people. But I have a post pregnancy brain that can't compute a coherent thought and my DP is from a different culture so he's always inchorent to me.
MY DD is soooo beautiful and bright but I feel that I taint her with my crapness. I only take her to the park out of guiltiness. She has just started biting her nails and i blame myself for this cos i do it.
I am a contridiction in terms becos to other ppl they would think, im leading a pretty decent life but to me, im always skating on ice... tryin to better myself but then i look down and see a big fat belly and an aging face and a failing relationship and a dd who deserves better and i wonder if im deluding myself that there will be a brighter day....
Dont expect an answer... just needed to vent...