Stressed/Depressed at work

[StressedDad1989]

Hi

I have been in my current job for just over a year now, but since about October I have been struggling with stress due to not being able to meet the minimum performance targets of my role despite my best efforts. I have had several meetings due to my performance and my stress/anxiety, as well as counselling sessions to deal with the stress but I am still really struggling. The other problem is it leaves me very drained in the evenings when I get in from work, such that I can just about get dinner and showered and ready for work the next day with my wife and kids, and getting the kids to bed leaving basic chores around the house not done and no time for either of us to relax. This obviously is causing me further stress, plus stress for my wife as she worries about me.

I have 2 young children (22 months and nearly 3 months old), which means it is awkward to find time atm to sort out things like looking for a new job at weekends when we try and keep on top of chores and occasionally find time for family activities.

I have ended up off sick several times this year, with colds that I think have been made worse by the stress as well as recently just feeling really under the weather and unable to do anything.

I don't know whether I should ask my doctor to sign me off with stress for a week or two as it's gotten bad again and I'm starting to feel quite low/depressed.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I definitely think you need to speak to your gp. I am not sure getting signed off is a grear move if you are job hunting though. Can you take some annual leave and take the time to job hunt?

Medication may help.

I hope you manage to find a new job and things settle down soon xx

Hi and thank you for your reply.

I take it you are mainly thinking of how that would look? My intention on the time off is to get better, I am back to being scared to go in and make mistakes on apparently very simple tasks, and this makes me feel sick as well as useless.

But in answer to your other question, I don't have much annual leave left and would need it for any interviews I might get not to mention if I need to look after the children once my wife is back at work, if I am still looking at that point.

The thought of needing to take medication for this scares me a lot. But I am hoping to get an appointment with my GP tomorrow now as they aren't in today and apparently no other doctors are available today.

Thank you for your reply

If you are scared of taking medication, may I recommend reading "Depressive illness, the curse of the strong" by Dr Tim Cantopher? The book will also help you understand that you have probably "broken" your limbic system, which will need rest to recover.

I would ask for 2 weeks off to recover and to give yourself some space to think about what changes you can make to improve things.

It’s awful when you are in that cycle. Could your mental health issues be stopping you reaching your targets or are the targets causing your mental health to decline?

chocolateworshipper

Thank you for your reply
I will look in to that book, got an appointment today with my GP. Hopefully they will agree.