I’m 36, with three young children (the youngest of whom turns six months tomorrow). I’m not feeling good. I had very severe depression after DCs 1 & 2. This time it has been better, but I’m not sleeping at all (even when she sleeps), my eating is all over the place, if I don’t run as exercise (usually manage this 3-4 times a weekI feel dirty and fat. I just generally feel like I don’t recognise myself any more. I’m into my sixth year of being either pregnant or breastfeeding. Since DC1 was born at the end of 2014, I basically feel like I have lost four and a half years. I have achieved nothing but getting older and more unattractive while the world has passed on by without me. DC1 is autistic and is very very hard work. I really miss who I was. I’ve lost a lot of confidence (had been working very full time when not on mat leave, but had some issues after DC2 recovering my job). I was also diagnosed with a potentially fatal autoimmune condition when DC1 was ten months old via a stint in ITU in a coma on a ventilator. I am now steroid dependent. I guess it’s just been a hell of a few years. Will I feel ok again? My husband and I have no physical relationship and I don’t even miss it. I’m just nothing. I can’t sleep...,
Do I sound like the worlds worst person?
I’d love to have a good chat to a friend but they’re always few and far between. None of my good friends have children and my husband is older so his friends are already well past children of the same age. I’m lonely and feel sad. Does this mean anything to other people?