I think I’ve developed OCD plus I’m struggling.

[Missblobby]

As the title says, I think (but not sure) that I’ve developed OCD over the past 6 months. I could be wrong and I know you can’t diagnose.
I’m having lots of awful impulsive thoughts and I’ve got obsessional over germs and trying to anti-bac everything in sight.
I’ve also started to hoard/keep my kids stuff that they simply don’t need anymore and I don’t even know why. Scared of them becoming young people maybe. I really don’t know. The place is quickly becoming a tip.
In addition my mood has been dropping steadily over the past 6 months plus. I don’t want to go out, see people or even text anyone. I have depression anyway (have for years and years but I can usually keep it in check) which won’t help plus ongoing pain issues.
I’m now really struggling.
I finally saw my gp a few weeks ago and as much as they prescribed ads, they’re not doing a thing for me.
Any advice? Or even just a handhold would be great. I can’t tell anyone irl.
Ps clearly nc for this. Thanks

Sorry you're struggling
Can hold hands How old are your kids? Are they affected by the "tip" or is it normal clutter?

Thank you.
They’re 16 and 20 so clearly not little kids.
It’s affecting the 16 year old as they’re embarrassed to have friends over.

Ahh, in that case it's not normal clutter. I've no experience in ocd or hoarding so can only try and think what I might do given that situation....

I might ask a friend to help me clear out. I can only think of one person who I wouldn't be embarrassed to ask. I can think of more who would do it but I would not ask! Do you have anyone to reach out to? I think more people will help than you think.

I also think the weight of all the stuff gone might help with the urge to sanitise everything?

Also, knowing your youngest isn't embarrassed will lift your mood somewhat?

Of course that all just addresses the symptoms, not the root cause of the problem. It might improve your day to day though?
Sometimes I think being practical about things, rather than cerebral, can really help.

It sounds like your ocd might be arising from stress and/or anxiety. I had ocd through my teens and sort of grew out of it but I still notice things left over from it when I am under stress. Eg: when I am on holiday (unfamiliar place) i have noticed I get really germ-phobic about being barefoot in the apartments or around the pools. I also start to have to wash my face in a specific manner which I used to do obsessively back then.

Anyway, I think working on decreasing your stress will help stop it becoming a full blown case of ocd. So looking up ways to destress or to practically make your life easier might be a good start.

Setting aside some free time to 'organise' the house might help too. Lots of boxes for the kids things so that if you cannot throw them out, at least you can store them somewhere orderly. Hiring a cleaner for once or twice a week if you can afford it might help too.

No it’s not normal clutter although I think I hide it fairly well.
My anxiety definitely is high right now so that would explain a lot then by the sounds of it. My stress levels too.
I can’t afford a cleaner but I do have a friend I could possibly ask to help clear some stuff. It’s sounds awful though, but I’m not sure I can handle anyone else choosing what stays and what goes. Does that make sense? I know that sounds ridiculous because it really is an issue.
You’re probably right with need to sanitise too, maybe once everything has gone it’ll go.

It’s lots of other things too. Mainly to do with if I don’t or do something (depending on what it is), that something awful will happen.
Thanks lots for the replies. I’m trying to suss out if I need to see my doctor sooner rather than later. They know I’m struggling with my mood and thoughts around that, hence the new ads.

Hi Missblobby,

It does definitely sound like OCD. You might find this forum helpful for sharing experiences with OCD: www.ocdforums.org/.

If you feel up to it then try to go back to the GP and ask for a referral for CBT therapy. Alternatively you could find a private CBT therapist through this website: www.babcp.com/Default.aspx but make sure you check that the therapist specialises in OCD first.

I know we cannot officially diagnose but if you have 'Thought Action Fusion' thoughts about bad things happening depending upon routine actions and a hygiene obsession AND if those symptoms are occupying at least an hour a day and disrupting your daily life then it's definitely OCD!

Yeah the 'something awful will happen if I don't' seems pretty ocdish to me. I would certainly get to your doc and have a word. I remember a great deal of shame revolving around my ocd and so I never spoke to anyone about it but I wonder if it had been caught early if intervention could have helped and perhaps I could have learned different coping strategies.

Pft, box it all up and store it in a spare room or something? Then you don't have to throw anything until you can deal. But certainly talk to friends, if you think they can help. Or if not, sometimes it just helps to talk.

Thank you both.
I’ve just googled ‘thought action fusion’ (as i’d not heard of it) and that’s exactly what I do..
In the same way I have tell those I’m close to that I love them when I said good bye or I’m convinced something will happen to them. I know logically it can’t prevent something but I still have to do it. Other stuff too.
It’s terrifying and exhausting and it’s certainly occupying more than an hour a day.

You should be able to access CBT for ocd through your doctor. Or you may be able to self refer through your local IAPT (Improving access to psychological therapies). They should be find-able on Google.

www.ocduk.org is an excellent site.

Thank you for that.
I’m getting more and convinced i do have OCD and I know I can’t sort myself out alone.
My mood is just spiralling. I made a doctors appointment yesterday but they can’t see me for 2 weeks, it feels like a lifetime away!

It certainly sounds like ocd, but I’m not a medical professional. I’ve had ocd for as long as I can remember, but finally got help 4 years ago after it spiralled out of control and had weekly cbt for 6 months. I know it’s something I’m always going to be at risk of having come back, but cbt has honestly changed my life and has given me the skills I need to control it.

It’s great that you’ve booked an appointment to see your gp about this, and that you’ve also started on ads. Could be worth googling the cycle of ocd and also exposure therapy for ocd (think it’s called exposure and response prevention) to help? I found this link which says about the different types of therapy for ocd:

beyondocd.org/information-for-individuals/cognitive-behavior-therapy

It’s utterly shite to be going through it, and exhausting, but it will get better. I wish you all the best 💐