Lets talk about the good things about people with borderline/emotionally unstable personality disorder

[Confused1977]

There are so many positives to people with this disorder. These days it's almost fashionable to have a mental health diagnosis. Unless that diagnosis is eupd/bpd. If that's the case you should be burned on a bonfire or thrown in a river!!!

There is so much overt stigma and discrimination on the internet and in real life about people with this disorder. Mental health discrimination in general is judged as wrong.....except when it comes to people with eupd/bpd, Then it is totally fine. In fact any idiot that has ever pissed you off in your life......people will say "I suspect he/she had a personality disorder (eupd/bpd). We are devils!!!

People with eupd have an over developed sense of 'everything '. We perceive things others don't see. We have 'too much' empathy. We are too easily offended. We care about our friendships so much that we break down to the point of psychosis if our relationships Are under threat.

We feel emotions so deeply it hurts. Our behaviour seems abnormal to most people, but our behaviour is a normal response to intense emotions.

Some people reading this will have a friend with eupd and will recognise the positive points.

We are creative, passionate, emotional, empathetic, highly strung, loyal individuals. We are not evil. We are not sociopaths. We are not narcissistic. Some people yes, can have both disorders....but most of us don't.

Sometimes we emotionally hurt others, but we don't mean to. Mostly we don't hurt others. Often we hurt ourselves. Most off us were born as highly sensitive kids, who experienced a fair amount of developmental trauma. That's how we got here.

It's not easy living with eupd/bpd, I never asked for it, I know I need to learn to cope better, but you don't need to run for the hills, I'm not dangerous!!! Please stop this stigma!!!!

It is a fact that we are 'highly sensitive people '.

Thank you!
I’ve recently been diagnosed with bpd and am struggling with the negatives and fear the stigma of it.

I am starting to wonder if my dd has this. She is beautiful, generous, witty, wise and supportive - and then she can also be her own worst enemy, have terrible outbursts, gives up easily, hates the world and herself. It is bloody hard work and I have only begun to try and understand how she feels, and begun to get a sense that her hurt is huge and beyond reason, that it turns inwards and outwards at the same time. In that moment, although it feels as though she is attacking me, it helps to understand she isn't really. It's not easy. Sometimes I walk out rather than be drawn into an argument, or I actually am so hurt by what she has just said/done that I'm just not in a position to be supportive at that moment.
But I am learning that what she wants is to be reassured, talked down, told it will be ok.
She was definitely a sensitive child, and has experienced trauma.
If you are diagnosed, does any of this resonate?

Yes Twillow, when I was a child my mum was often exasperated by me. She found me exhausting and always said I was 'highly strung'. We didn't get on. But I lived with a lot of trauma in my childhood. I have 4 younger siblings, but none of them have the emotional problems that I do. I was a very strong attachment figure for them and always kept them safe. I believe that protected them from developing eupd. I myself never had anyone to keep me safe. And then I experienced sexual abuse from someone outside the family.

In my 20s I was out of country. My emotions dictated my life. I've got a bit better as I've got older (I'm 40 now!). But it's really hard still. It's living in a parallel universe to most of the human race!

Twillow, you also sound like a great mum for your dd if she is having these problems. Just remember that 'boundaries ' are really really important. Sometimes you may have to be cruel to be kind, but overall it will make her feel safe. And defy continue to understand and validate her feelings...you can tell her if you disagree with her, but it is so important when you are an emotionally sensitive person that people understand why you 'feel' the way you do, and even better if they accept that...even if they don't agree. Validation of feelings from loved ones is super important

Thank you, @Confused1977 and those tips are really helpful. I've definitely found that opening a discussion by saying "I can see you feel xyz" is very helpful. And it's also very true about the boundaries, which is something I was hesitant about but she does seem to accept certain rules that I've started putting in place, whereas I was expecting it to cause WW3!
Luckily we have always been very close, but it can be very, very hard I won't lie. She is not diagnosed and I only begun to think this after googling some of her behaviours and then reading up on what I found But she is beginning to worry that she will lose relationships.