I need help but I am so lost I don't know where to begin.

[EffedUp]

I am finally admitting I need help. It is not something I admit lightly, I'm very much a keeping up appearances type but I don't know how much longer I can carry on in this state. I am the one that has had to stay strong for everyone else and pick up the pieces of everyone elses mess and I can't do it anymore.
I am permanently exhausted, suffer badly from insomnia, and to be honest probably at burn out stage with my job, working full time around 45-50 hours a week. There have been a number of changes in my life and I have lost all joy in things. My relationship isn't great, largely my fault and DP is generally supportive but get limited time together.
I have a huge desire to be a mum, always have even when my MH was much better, and I was (finally) diagnosed with PCOS over 12 months ago and whilst I have the diagnosis I have received no help or information on it, just the label nothing on what next other than looking myself online. I saw GP twice since and despite no AF for years was told to wait and wait again before they would help me and have not been able to see GP since they told me to go back in Feb.
I have tried CBT a few years back from referral by GP which did absolutely nothing, if anything I got worse.
I can't afford a therapist. I can't get in with GP, have been trying the last 3 months. I have called hundreds of times, it goes unanswered or I am told there are no appointments and to call again whenever and repeat. I have been down there and told there are no appointments.
I am at a total loss what to do and don't know where I can go next, all I do know is my life cannot carry on as it is.
Is there anything anyone can recommend that can help me sort my head out and feel like I can actually live again?
Sorry for long post. Thank you for any pointers on what to do.

Just wanted to say I have been there, fertility issues, work stress etc. I am currently off work. Spoke to GP and signed off for 2-4 weeks with anxiety and depression.

Curse of the strong it is. I am surprised you cannot get an appointment. What is the system? Mine is call bang on 8.30 and you are caller 35 then eventually you get through. Write down everything and tell them.

Also google pcos charities/support.

Hope u turn a corner soon. I am hopeful I will over next two weeks.

Thanks for your reply.
Sorry to hear you are going through it too.

The system at GP is just a nightmare. It's ring at 8am but there is no waiting, it's pot luck. So it either rings and goes unanswered until it cuts out or it's engaged and comes up call failed. I did write stuff down before with them and they didn't even read it, I was told to pick the most important point on my list but maybe if I see someone else I will have a better response.

I'm not sure if time off would do anything for me at this time as there is no provision if I have any time off work, I would probably end up more stressed out as would go back in to where I left off with the following week added to it, on top of just getting SSP for any sick leave.

I hope your time off helps you and you are feeling better over the coming weeks.

Will google for those.
Thank you!

You poor thing. Google local walk in centre and also Google local mental health support. There should be a helpline and some support centres for you to go to or at least some ideas where to start. Mencap are great. Take a deep breath. You need help and you aren't in a place where you can cope just now. Try some over the counter sleep aids for now and try to take a little bit of control of your day. It can help you to remove little bits of stress block by block, I have a daily planner where I plan my meals, my things to do, my work jobs and home jobs. It helps me feel more able to cope when I cross things off. I am basically saying try to focus on the small stuff to get you through this until you can tackle the big stuff. Do you have a friend you can talk to? Also a little exercise can really help with the sleeping. Not running ten miles but maybe just doing a ten minute work out app to start with. My mum taught me some breathing exercises too that really helped to battle the anxiety and bring the stress levels under control.

Take your time and don't beat yourself to death with things that are wrong in your life, think of one good thing or something to look forward to... Even if it's just the next episode of your fave TV show. It WILL be OK. 😀