Feel like giving up

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

I'm so utterly exhausted of being broke. I work 29 hours a week, dp works 44 and we never have any money. We struggle every week even though I meal plan, neither of us smoke or gamble, we buy two bottles of wine a week.
I was paid on Friday and it's all gone, my car cost me £250, plus trying to pay off my credit card debts, nursery debt, pay back my mum for lending me money for petrol the other week. It's dd's Birthday this month and we wanted to get her a second hand trampoline but I don't think we can stretch to it, unless I put it on the credit card. I know you can get them on FB marketplace but it's transporting it, paying for a van, and loads of the really cheap ones need replacement parts which add up.
There seems to be loads of tiny things which seem insignificant to other people which make me feel really bad. My ds was sick last night so he's had to have the day off nursery which is £62 for me to stay at home and lose a days pay, also Monday is the only day I'm able to work a full eight hours and not have to pay extra. I know I should just shrug it off and think 'that's life' but I feel a bit tearful thinking about the money I've lost.
I've also had a letter this morning saying that as I missed two payments on my car insurance they've cancelled the policy and I have to pay a £55 admin fee. So even when I get my car back from the garage I won't be able to drive it. I went to ring them to beg for them to take the payment now but my phone has been cut off so I can't. And that's when I broke down in front of my children and said that I was a loser and they should have a mum who had a better job. Thing is that I love my job and it makes me proud, I don't want to have to give it up.

Not much advice, but you're far from a loser, you're struggling but coping with difficult circumstances. That's a great example for your children.

Sorry you are having such a hard time financially. We were in the same situation and we ended up in debt to tax credits as they over paid us but when I updated them with our new circumstances they carried on paying us and then demanded it back at the end of the year. So my advice would be don't use tax credits unless you have no choice. I realise it's not much help as you're prob not claiming anyway. What other areas of expenditure can you drill down on? I realise childcare is a massive expense. I was working in a school as a cleaner to avoid childcare costs in the hols and now DS is in teacher training so hopefully won't have that cost going forward.
I think with presents for DC, they have to accept smaller things. The most expensive thing we got DS was a brand new Bruder crane for £45. Now he needs a new bike and we were looking at getting one from Halfords but they're too pricey so we bought a 2nd hand one for £30. I do feel bad about that but he seems happy enough. So what you're doing sounds ok..looking at 2nd hand stuff first. Just avoid going into too much debt. Easier said than done I know when there's so much they want and everything is too expensive.
As pp said you're NOT a loser. Don't think like that. You're under a lot of pressure.
Hope you find a way to manage..good luck op

@BooseysMom I'm in debt because tax credits over paid us and then wanted it back so I know all too well what that's like!
Do you find that the less money you have, the worse you are when you do get some? I got paid a bit extra because of overtime and I went a bit mad for dd's Birthday. Now I regret it. I just want to see her face light up. I was teased at school for being poor and it breaks my heart that they might have the same experience.

@ExtraPineappleExtraHam..omg I've lost count the amount of times someone has told me they're in debt to tax credits. Ffs it's about time they changed it so that when you tell them about changes they alter the payments that month, not a year later. Or maybe I'm going wrong somewhere
Yeah I do tend to splurge. Once DH found £20 on the floor and we went mental and ended up spending about £100!! So it doesn't pay to find money you never had before
That's cruel someone teasing you like that. They should have a taste of what it's like to struggle. I can understand you wanting to make DD happy. I'm the same