What is happening to me?

[owl89]

Hi.
I hope this is ok to post here. I feel like I can't talk to anyone and I'm too scared to go to the doctor.
For as long as I can remember I get these sudden feelings of intense doom and sadness. Makes me feel physically sick and like I'm not quite with my surroundings if that makes sense. These episodes make me feel awful and I don't know what it is.
They have been getting more intense since I've had my second baby. After these episodes I feel like out of breath and my breathing feels funny like I have a lump in my throat.
I'm just so scared as they are getting worse and I feel like I'm not coping at all. I feel like im getting angry with my poor DP and I keep lashing out at him. I Just feel so awful

Anxiety can cause De-personalisation. Its horrible and really scary at the time but the more you become frightened the worse it is. My breathing was also affected and had the scary throat sensation too.
I developed anxiety and had these 'strange' moments after the birth of my DD. I plucked up the courage to see my GP and was referred for CBT due to my anxiety issues. It really was a huge help and support.
You are not alone and it's natural to lash out when you feel anxious and scared.
Id really suggest going to your GP as it's something that am sure they see regularly and there are things they can suggest that will really benefit you and your situation.

If it coincides with breastfeeding then it may be D-Mer. The feeling you describe is the same - dysphoria essentially. Otherwise I don't know but definitely seek some help, it's an awful feeling.

Definitely see the GP. There are options to help with this. Don't suffer in silence. Also call your health visitor if you have one.
This has happened to plenty of us and you don't have to live like this. It's really scary, isn't it? Get on the phone asap

Thank you for responding. The feeling is exactly like D-mer however I no longer breastfeed and I've been having these feelings since childhood but they are now a lot worse. Im going to book GP but don't know what to say or if I will be believed.

Perhaps its connected with the same hormonal changes/instability? Hope you can get some help to manage. I found D-Mer absolutely debilitating, so to have similar feelings for a whole lifetime sounds unbearable, you poor thing. x