So fed up of going through cycles of this on and off for the last 8-10 years, had 3 lots of therapy and it works temporarily and I can keep it in check and then it slowly unravels again when there's certain triggers. In March my son had scarlet fever which passed to me and my dh, it was miserable and we all had a week of antibiotics but made it through. However 6 days after completing the antibiotics mine returned only twice as bad and I ended up in hospital for the first time in my life (my personal idea of hell) with my throat closing over and needing iv antibiotics, steroids and painkillers, I was so weak and ill for a week but the hospital stay has literally left me feeling traumatised and I know that sounds so fucking stupid believe me I hear it myself and know how dramatic it sounds but it's true. I finished my 2nd round of antibiotics 3 weeks ago today and have recovered but in those past 3 weeks I have had at least 5 times where I've become hyper aware of my throat sensations and believed that this thing is returning and that I'm feeling discomfort, swelling etc only for it to disappear a few hours later but not before I've had a full blown panic attack over it. I've never had throat issues in my life, the last time I had tonsillitis I was about 14 years old and I had glandular fever when I was 17 that was 13 years ago so I'm not a "throaty" person and Im just so freaked out that it returned and came back worse than the first time, does this mean I'm now susceptible to this thing etc. Its not just the illness that gives me anxiety, it's having to call in sick to work and let people down as I'm a manager and my direct boss is less than sympathetic over sickness periods. There is nothing anyone can say (my dh has tried) to convince me that this won't reoccur but I just want to stop the anxiety surrounding it. This has come at a particularly stressful time in my life anyway as we have just bought our first house this month and moved in and having a lot of building work being done on it and due to fly on Saturday to a big family event in another country so the pressure of not getting sick before this event and letting people down etc is weighing heavily on me. I just needed to get all this off my chest. If anyone can relate or say anything helpful in terms of settling my mind/focus on this that would be wonderful but just a handhold would be great.