Help! My house is a mess, my to do list is never ending. I'm so unhappy :(

[lizzyttc2017]

I don't even know where to start, my whole body is bursting with stress at the moment, I'm struggling so much mentally because my head is full of things I need to do and just can't find the time to get done.

I look after my 11 month old all day, and run my own business so can only get that work done during the evening when she is in bed, I am struggling to keep on top of the house so although it looks okay on the outside things are building up like junk drawers, junk room/spare room, laundry piled as high as a mountain in the bedroom. Floors that get cleaned daily but need a proper CLEAN you know.. cupboards that need a clean.. all that stuff. I can manage a basic daily clean just not everything else and it's making me sick to even be in the house, my mood is greatly reflected on how tidy my home is.

My partner works full time running a garage so when he gets home he wants to play Xbox, watch films etc. He does do some things around the house when I ask but it's always a half hearted job or not to my standards I guess so even when he helps I still don't feel what he has done can be ticked off my to do list. I feel like my relationship is in the gutter because I don't have any time to do anything other than moan to him about how stressed or unhappy I feel and how much of a shit heap the house is becoming.

I don't even know why I'm writing this post other than I need advise or help with time management or something! (I don't take time to myself at all/ watch tv/ anything. The only me time I have is having a bath) so I can really cut down on 'me time'.

Hi OP, that sounds incredibly stressful, most people would find that hard!

My suggestions would be trying to have a date night away from the house. Be more assertive about the division of labour with your DP (you both have full time jobs - you seem to have two!).

Also keeping up with the minimum is great - give longer time frames for the other less urgent stuff.

Get a cleaner short term? Or keep one forever!!

Declutter.
It is amazing.

Things have a place to live...

You need help and support! You say that your partner is working a full-time job and wants to relax when he gets home, yet you are also working an exhausting and equally full-time job by being at home all day with an 11-month old. PLUS you are running your own business in the evenings. If anything, he should be doing MORE housework than you, not less.

Is there any way you can get some babysitting/childcare to enable you to do some of the running of your business during the daytime?

Unfortunately I suspect you are stuck with it (I've been in the same position; it's bloody tough). And your me-time can't give, because you already have none. The only thing with any slack that can possibly change is your "partner". Do you think he can change for the better and pull his weight?

On a practical note, I have found things improve when I declutter and throw things away. When there isn't too much stuff, and more importantly when the stuff you are keeping has a clear and easy to reach 'home', it's a lot easier and quicker.

But you need to clear a little time in order to do this all at once.

Or you could make a resolution to get rid of one thing, or three things, every day.

And if your partner can't be a real partner and do his fair share, then perhaps he could be one of the things to get rid of!