Brother just been diagnosed with bipolar

[jarviscockerslover]

Just after some advice really from anyone who has experienced A friend or family member having a psychotic episode..
My brother was taken to the local emergency department following a couple of weeks of manic behaviour and no sleep. He's been diagnosed with bipolar and is currently undergoing a psychotic episode -he severely delusional has been violent towards staff and currently has a security guard sitting outside his room.
He's completely rambling and detached from reality.
I've known there's been issues for awhile as he's been on depression and anxiety mads in the past, however this is the first time he's had a proper diagnosis with the psychiatrist.
When I went to visit him today it was terrifying and I wasn't sure how to respond to him when he's talking his crazy talk. He's certain that there's nothing wrong with him and he's just playing along and humouring the doctors until they allow him to be released as he's been sectioned.
Any advice appreciated .. our dad has stage four lung cancer which may have been the trigger for this? I don't know -but either way it's causing the family and my dad immense stress

God this sounds awful, what a crisis. I'm so sorry to hear of your brother, and your father. It must be so terribly stressful for all of you.

My DB was sectioned for psychosis, with delusional and violent symptoms. We knew something wasn't right for a while, he lost his job and had declined before that. It's a relief to get a diagnosis but also awful that it reached that point, you have my sympathies.

DB was very confused when we saw him. The first time we spoke properly he said he didn't know why he was there. I really didn't know what to say either.

I would probably not visit for a little while OP. I only went a couple of times and stayed for an hour or so, taking a game, talking about shared interests, things you both find funny. They can be awful places, DM visited, a patient opened the door and said DB had died!

Taking medication is the key thing to help stabilise his symptoms. Also having insight into how Bipolar affects him. If you can, read up about Bipolar as it can help to have empathy/understanding. Doing WRAP planning is really good - it covers signs of a crisis and what to do etc: mentalhealthrecovery.com/

Also have a look at the current NICE guidelines.

Is the living situation with your DF? Can DF have him home or does DB need to go into more semi-independent accommodation.

Family members / siblings experience FOG (fear obligation guilt), look after yourself and put your needs first. For siblings:

www.rethink.org/carers-family-friends/brothers-and-sisters-siblings-network

I hope your dad doesn't feel guilty. Never was this his fault. If not now, something else would have been happening when your brother turned ill.

I hope brother can come to realise he's ill & needs help.

And god yes you are allowed to be selfish and not take brother's illness as your problem. Look after yourself & the people who will let you help them as first priority.

Mental illness is like a family thing including one of my brothers with complex diagnoses. I don't have contact with him. I can't fix him.

I'm so sorry OP.

I have bipolar disorder so I understand to some extent the impact it's having on your family and I've seen the fear I've caused in the past.

I just wanted to tell you though that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My bipolar is now managed so well that I was able to go to uni, become a nurse and now I'm extremely stable and doing very well in my work and home life. There are many of us who manage to become stable and people would probably be surprised at how many people live with bipolar. My life has done a full 360. Before this I was having manic episodes were I would spend thousands I didn't have, would engage in risky behaviours, would fight physically, would hurt myself and ended up being hospitalised. That life couldn't be further away now.

Being on antidepressants might have actually made him worse, SSRIs in particular can be absolutely horrendous for people with bipolar and cause serious manic episodes and psychosis which is why it's good that he has a diagnosis now and will be able to get the chemical help he needs.

I hope your brother can overcome this and that your family can cope, it's hard but there is help available to not just him but you. It's very hard dealing with a mentally ill loved one and you need to focus on your own mental health too.

My dh has bipolar.
One thing that struck me was he was on medication for depression. These meds are very dangerous for a person with bipolar as when his mood starts to elate and he continues to take them he can spiral into full blown mania.
For now there is nothing you can do. He is in medical care. He will not remember any of this so don't waste any energy discussing things or trying to persuade him. It will take a while now to bring him down to a stable mood. Try not to take personally anything he says as he is out of it so not speaking sensibly.
Most important thing is the doctors know what meds he has been on.
Give it time. Don't panic and be there for him when he comes through.

Thanks for your responses everyone. Sorry for the delay I'm in Australia so just woken up..
DB has a wife and two kids, one with autism. He is 42. His wife is really struggling and has been for years putting up with his behaviour ...she's reached the end of the line (understandably) After many years and says she can't see a way to move forward with this. She will divorce him if he can't get help, she says she can't live like this any more.
The worry here is my brother would have nowhere to go and would likely move back in with my parents creating even more stress for my very poorly dad
I'm very relieved for his sake he's in hospital and hopefully get the right medications. I didn't know that antidepressants could have a negative affect for bipolar- this is interesting.

Thank you for the links which I'll check out later. I might show my parents your responses as I think it will help them as well

I know at this moment it's all shit. Things will get worse.
You have to deal with it all one day at a time.
Please take time to take care of yourself
Hopefully things will also get better x

I have bipolar, and it is terrifying how much the illness distorts your thoughts. In my mind my thoughts were 100% true, I would get angry with anyone who questioned my beliefs.

I would say to visit him and sit with him once he stabilises a bit. It doesn't seem like he is well enough for that right now.

Unfortunately medicating an illness like bipolar is not easy, it was the 4th mood stabiliser which worked well for me with acceptable side effects. Antipsychotics can be awful to take due to the extreme sedation and weight gain. My brain also tells me I am well and don't need to take them when I am inbetween wellness and illness, but right now I've been stable for a few months on current meds regime. My psychiatrist says this lack of insight is also a symptom of the illness.

I also agree antidepressants can be dangerous for people with bipolar, prozac triggered my first episode.

I have also been in the position where a young relative has developed bipolar over the past couple of years. It has been awful to watch her turn from a quiet studious girl to violent, unpredictable uni drop out. She was at the level of being clearly unwell but not bad enough to be sectioned so fell through the cracks in the system while we watched helplessly.

It's hard not to get angry at people when they are behaving erratically. His illness is of course stressful for others to deal with, but no more his fault than your dad's cancer. You do however need to look after yourself and limit contact with your brother to preserve your own sanity.

I had psychosis out of the blue in 2011 and was diagnosed a year or so later with bipolar.

I can't speak for your brother, but my experience was utterly terrifying. Really, really scary. There was no point in trying to convince me that any of the gibberish I was talking was not true. I had an unshakeable believe in it and anyone arguing with me made me paranoid that they were out to get me.
I narrowly avoided being sectioned and was put on antipsychotics which made me sleep for 20 hours a day.
Unfortunately, psychosis is usually followed by an extremely deep depression which is difficult.
However, I consider myself lucky that the right meds, a load of awareness of my mood and plenty self care has allowed me to be pretty stable since 2013.
I hope he's well soon, but it won't be overnight

I meant to say that the violence could well be triggered by fear.

How worrying for you all involved! My dp has had a psychotic episode and it is terrifying. I still haven't recovered from it as it was so traumatic.

I hope your db gets better soon, I really do