Just need to talk. I've had a history of depression and anxiety my whole adult life. I've been on my current medication for 10 years - escitalopram and propanol. I've tried once or twice in the past to come off these meds with horrendous effects.
Even whilst steady on these meds I still suffer from intrusive thoughts, suicidal notions ( though I'd never carry it out) , severe irritability with certain noises and sounds - like several conversations going on together, I hate it. Also high pitched noises. I hate being in closed spaces and having people too close. I struggle to organise my thoughts where I can spend all day at home wandering around doing things but not actually achieving anything. I sleep a lot but often have very vivid dreams. I have hand and body tremors all the time - to the point it's embarrassing and people comment. I have compulsive eating disorder. I get olfactory hallucinations too - usually chemical smells..
I really think there's something else going on and that I've was given antidepressants firstly 20 years ago and ever since that's what I've been given. I'm sorry it's not coherent.