I'm not sure of the point in writing this. I think maybe I just need to say it. If I write it down maybe it will make me do something about it.
I think my eating is getting a bit disordered. I'm having a difficult time generally at the moment which is probably contributing. I do need to lose some weight but I'm now skipping days of eating completely and on days where I do eat I'm having a maximum of about 500 calories. I drink a lot of coffee with milk so that pushes up my total intake a bit even on not eating days and I have had a few days where I have eaten a proper meal. I've lost a stone in the last 2.5 weeks alone. I feel sick constantly. I'm a nurse and today in clinic I saw someone who had anorexia, she was eating considerably more than me and yet considered herself unwell. I know I need to eat more, I could eat more and still be on a diet. But I can't do it. I don't know why. I work shifts so DH is used to me not eating at set times and doesn't notice if I skip meals but it's getting difficult to hide the fact that clothes don't fit. I weigh myself every morning and night to judge if I'm allowed to eat. I know what I would say if someone else told me this but I feel so bloody stupid, part of me thinks if I could just be a little bit thinner then I could stop.
Please don't be too harsh.