Anxiety about allergic reactions

[anxiousanny]

This is my first post in this section (have namechanged) i don't feel confident enough to talk to anyone in real life about this but it's starting to take over my life.

My back story is that I suffered from severe anxiety a year or so after my first baby was born 15 years ago. This mostly centred around food/vomiting. It didn't happen slowly as far as I remember but I may just not have noticed it creeping up I suppose. I just woke up one day and couldn't even sit up without feeling horribly sick.

I won't bore you with the ins and outs but what followed was around a year of near constant panic attacks, I was unable to leave the house at all in case I was sick or in case someone else vomited in front of me , I wouldn't allow anybody in to my house for the same reason, I barely ate anything just dry bread, the smell and sight of food made me sick and I lost a huge amount of weight.

I had cbt over the phone, and slowly things got easier and I got better. I've never been anxiety free but have found I've been able to talk myself down and rationalise what I'm feeling until recently.

For some reason I've started to have unhelpful thoughts about having an allergic reaction. I don't even have allergies, I never have except for hayfever/asthma. I don't know why this is happening to me now

It started with being anxious about taking medication, I've always been wary about it, but it increased until I now can't take anything except for paracetamol in case I have a reaction.
It then progressed to sillier things like dying my hair, body lotions, different toothpaste etc, and then the food fear started to creep in.

The range of food I can eat now without thinking I can feel my throat closing up and my lips swelling is getting smaller and smaller and I don't know how to stop it. I just can't get like that again, I have more children now, 3 have ASD. I haven't got time for this I need to be on my game all the time but it's just getting worse every day.

Sorry for rambling on, I'm just really hoping someone here can give me some advice on how to manage this

Hi OP. I'm not sure I can help you but read your post with interest. My sister has an adult step son with ASD. As I was reading your post it made me think of him, he has issues with fear around choking, breathing, dying etc and my sister says that because she deals with his issues/fears all the time, it has made her conscious of her own breathing etc and she has started to suffer from anxiety as a result and is always conscious of her breathing/swallowing etc too. When you mentioned that you have 3 DC's with ASD, I couldn't help but wonder if a similar thing may be happening with you? I dont know but I guess a chat with your GP would be a sensible first step. Sounds like you need some support or advice at the very least xxx

I have this too but it's not as bad as when I was in a highly stressful situation last year. I had my first panic attack but because I didn't know what it was I thought I was having an allergic reaction and my throat was closing up. It turns out I also have acid reflux which can make swallowing food seem tricky. I avoided everything. Now the stress has subsided somewhat I just use the mantra, "but you're not allergic to anything". It helps. I do still check my face in the mirror a lot and I feel my lips.

That may be a good point I hadn't considered, 2 of mine suffer with anxiety, one is actually medicated for it although his anxiety is part of his condition (pda) and he doesn't present like this.

The other, however, regularly vomits and while you would think the constant exposure would have helped me get used to it, I'm not sure it has! I have always been emetophobic even before I became unwell so it makes sense it features heavily in my anxiety.

Maybe it is just the stress, the last year has been a particularly difficult one for us, perhaps there's not enough of me left to manage my own problems after dealing with theirs. I don't know.

I do the checking my mouth and tongue in the mirror too whenever I've eaten or touched anything I'm not sure is safe. I'm not sure how helpful doing that is.

If CBT helped you before maybe it's worth thinking about again? And please don't be afraid to take medication if you need to and / or talk to those who love you about it. It sounds like your life is very stressful and you need to look after yourself so that you can be who you need to be for others 💐💐💐