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Intrusive thoughts? 50mg of Sertraline

6 replies

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 14/04/2019 12:06

Hi I wonder if anyone has any experience of this. I was on Fluoxetine for years (for anxiety, not depression) and had the dose upped from 40mg to 60mg when I was made redundant last year and was feeling very anxious. I also take 30mg Amitriptyline a day for migraine prevention.

Early February I stared to have bad panic attacks. My physical health had worsened (have Fibromyalgia and Lupus) and couldn’t find paid work which was getting to me. GP said to lower the fluoxetine gradually from 60mg to 40mg to 20mg and then to nothing over around 6 weeks and at the same time start Sertraline, starting on 50mg when I was on 40mg of Fluoxetine and then 100mg when I was on 20mg/0mg of Fluoxetine.

The Sertraline was like a miracle cure. The anxiety immediately went. Is been on edge for months but it was gone. However, now I have slowered to 20mg Fluoxetine with 50mg of Sertraline I’m having a lot of intrusive thoughts. I have OCD anyway which is normally well controlled but suddenly I’m having a lot of intrusive thoughts about sexual abuse I suffered as a teenager (to the point of it being ridiculous- I can’t do or think of anything without it coming back to my abuser or the abuse. Things as innocuous as “I’m going to brush my teeth, oh God that’s the same brand of mouthwash as X had in his bathroom”). As well as this I’m having intrusive sexual thoughts in general (they’re quite violent and graphic and often involve the abuse). It’s all very confusing because I then feel aroused, sometimes this happens in dreams rather than in walking life, and that makes me feel panicky and ashamed. I have spoken in therapy before about the abuse but never that any element of it consciously or unconsciously sexually excites me still. Sometimes I am so frustrated when I wake from the dreams that I masturbate. That makes me even more ashamed and disgusted with myself. I have a loving partner but I don’t want to have sex with him ever at the moment. The idea turns my stomach and I couldn’t tell you why because objectively I find him very sexy but I flinch at his advances at the moment.

I daren’t cut the Fluoxetine off as I’ve been aiming to do next week as I’m now convinced in my mind that the lowered dose of Fluoxetine is causing the issues. Equally I am scared to up the Sertraline in case that’s the issue. Should I go back to 40mg Fluoxetine and 50mg of Sertraline and see if it improves things? I do take other drugs- namely codeine, naproxen and gabapentin for pain, but have been on them for years and years.

I also keep getting songs stuck in my head- annoying or bad ones or ones that remind me of the abuse. I also have a diagnosis of PTSD from the abuse. The abuse happened well over 25yrs ago too, if that’s relevant. I also increasingly have this weird thing where at the end of the day- say 6pm onwardsish- I start to feel foggy and disconnected from reality. I start saying things with no idea where they’ll end or why I’m saying them (normally innocuous things, but it’s like halfway through a sentence I realise I’m just reading a line on an autocue about a topic I don’t know anything about and can’t see the next bit so don’t know what the hell im talking about). I also feel very tired during these confused evenings and the next morning only remember snatches, like I’ve been drinking.

Does anyone have any experience or insight into this? I feel like I’m going slowly mad. Intend to talk to Lupus consultant about this but no appointment until 25th May and can’t get in with my own GP until 13th May either.

I’m sorry that was a bit of an essay. If anyone got to the end of it and knows anything that might help, I would really appreciate it.

OP posts:
AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 14/04/2019 14:14

Hopeful bump.

OP posts:
AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 14/04/2019 19:41

Bumping for the evening crowd.

OP posts:
CKWattisthemanager · 14/04/2019 19:46

I think you would be wise to go back to your GP and ask these questions and also so he knows exactly how you are feeling.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 14/04/2019 19:58

Thanks CKWattisthemanager for replying. Really appreciate it. Yeah, I agree I need to get back to see the doctor but currently that’s 30 odd days away. I just don’t know how to keep a lid on it for the time being. Today my body has totally shut down- shivering, temperature and aching legs and back. Haven’t been able to do anything and feel like I’m getting the flu. It’s like my system is overloaded with how miserable and sad I feel- when I know rationally that I don’t really have anything to be miserable or sad about. I have a nice life, nice DP, cute infant sons and a lovely dog 😂 I should be very happy but I feel like I’m on a grief spiral- or not even a spiral because it doesn’t go up or down- it’s a fucking loop and I’ve been on it more than a decade.

OP posts:
restlessrobin1240 · 15/04/2019 09:50

It sounds like you are in awful turmoil. Make an urgent appointment with your Gp - are you under a mental health team ? call them and explain - rather that hen suffer and make your mental health worse and harder to get back on track ?
You need professional guidance on the medication not the opinion of unqualified responders such as myself. That’s dangerous . Best of luck .

tierraJ · 15/04/2019 11:45

I have had bad intrusive thoughts but I have schizo affective disorder & take anti psychotics which have been very effective.

I agree with pp that you definitely need to see your gp or mental health team regarding your problems.
Maybe they will recommend other meds or therapy.
In my experience anti depressants don't help cure intrusive thoughts.

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