Suicide obsession?

[beenhereages1]

Hi all

Suicide obsession - has anyone else ever struggled with this like me?

I had anxiety/depression about 7 years ago, it hung around for about a year then slowly fizzled away. Ive been left with a low level of anxiety- which I can deal with.

However , for the last couple of years I've really struggled with a weird, horrible fear of suicide. I am 100% not suicidal and wasn't even during my depression, but I spend time fearing that one day I will. It's such an odd feeling as I'm so happy with life, but I can't shake this thought.

I always believed that this was intrusive thoughts? Linked to anxiety? But I'm now thinking that it's more of an obsession?

When it's bad, I tend to be able to distract myself, but I'm wondering if it's something I can get proper help for? It's very upsetting because I'm far from suicidal. However it worries me that if it carries on forever then eventually it'll tip me over the edge - the very thing I fear!

Can anyone understand what I mean?

OP have you seen your GP and asked for support?

See this thread now please and talk to someone

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/3553113-is-it-ok-to-have-a-suicide-plan?noti=1

Welshcountry- I have absolutely no plan to do anything! Far far from it. I think because I have been low in the past I could see how someone could get to the point of seeing no end. I think this has stuck with me and I can't seem to shift it. To me it sounds odd though, and I don't really know what to do about it. It's like I've developed a phobia to suicide? Is that possible?

YES!
My psychologist and I work on it as a Pure OCD thought. I have to remind myself it's nothing more than an obsessive thought and not get caught up in it. I have various 'protective' behaviours and thinking's that go with it which he calls 'magical' thinking.
I cope better now that I recognise it isn't meaning I am suicidal, in fact quite the opposite!
It's definitely worse when I am tired and anxious and can take over my thinking at times and I have to be disciplined to not keep seeking reassurance that I won't act.

Oh yes @Volluto ! That's definitely it! It's definitely better than it was, as I've accepted it is just a thought, but I'd love to work on getting it even better

I get this too! Mine is usually triggered after someone I know/ know of commits suicide. I think it's because the people have always seemed happy so I worry it could happen to any one of us. Luckily my thoughts usually fade after a few weeks, but unfortunately I seem to be at an age where I hear about someone else every couple of months . I've never suffered from any mental health issues, but the thoughts still pop up!

I've done quite a lot of work on thought defusion (ACT) which has been helpful. Investment in working with clinical psychologist has been invaluable .

Incredibly happy to hear it. I understand the OCD reference you made and trust your professional but I think for most people thinking that’s the solution might not be helpful in the long term. All illness is different depending on the person. I hope your anguish over the OCD’ness of it isn’t a pressure.

My cousin has OCD and it used to curtail his wish to go anywhere. He would come across a large drain and just stand there staring then people would wonder what he was staring at and soon a crowd would form. His poor wife and to gently pull him away. He though someone was trapped. He is always travelling now they are retired and he still takes meds but sometimes he gets that look. Fear for someone else.

Human brain is a damn mystery that’s for sure. All the best.