Where can I go to improve my terrible social skills?

[skittleboy]

It's hard to explain. I'm 26 and I'm not shy but I'm rubbish at talking and social situations. Very awkward. I find it very hard for conversation to flow, I know in my head what I want to say but it comes out a jumbled mess. I can't make jokes/witty comments/banter. I can actually feel that my body language is awkward and makes me look uncomfortable.

I'm very reserved and I am unable to let my hair down and dance and sing because I just can't do it. I literally don't have the confidence to let myself go like that. But everyone else can and does.

I especially struggle talking as a group. Everyone else round the table is talking and laughing and joking and I'm the only one sat there awkward, not knowing where to look or what to say.

I must come across as a very boring, uninteresting person.

I want to be normal.

I need some help but I have no idea where or who to turn to. I know they do therapy for social anxiety but that's not really what I have although there may be a small element of that. Can you point me in the right direction please.

I have social anxiety and I would have thought that is what you're experiencing.

If you're not shy, what is it that is holding you back from speaking? You say that you're tense which indicates that there is some sort of negative thought processes going Cbt may be useful in making you change your thoughts.

As for improving any skill, practice, practice practice. Any opportunity you have, make small talk- cashier at the supermarket, postman , neighbours etc. Also, make a conscious effort for good body language, make eye contact. Ask questions. Using the threading technique in conversations to keep it going.

I'm pretty much the same way, except I am shy and very social isolated. Recently I've been trying to get out more and to make friends and I was feeling really awful at finding this so difficult and coming across as weird and awkward. When I spoke to someone about this I was told that for a lot of people being social isn’t really something that you naturally are. It’s something you have to practice and learn, so like the pp said find ways to practice and try not to feel to bad if it doesn't go well at first. I recently had someone ask my name and I answered with 'thanks'. Felt like a complete idiot but I know I have to keep trying. Also there are a lot of videos on youtube on how to talk to people with confidence or on ways to improve social skills.