How to stop worrying all the time!

[LilacGarden]

Hi
I am a Mother of one 9 year old child, and I have for years been in this state of chronic worry and fear, which I really need to figure out how to fix. I have an underlying belief that I have to worry in order to keep my family and myself safe. And that if I relax and trust that things are okay, more bad things will happen. Part of this comes form the fact that for the last six years I have been chronically ill with severe lyme disease and other infections form ticks, which had the worst worst effects on me. It caused me to literally physically be not able to breathe well for years. So this has put me into a state of chronic tightness and fear and a basic feeling that the world is not a kind or safe place. I spend a lot of money, travelled and went to many places to try to heal and nothing was working. Only in the last few months did I find soemone actually close to where I live who has helped me see remarkable progress in my health. But I am still not all the way there and I don't know if I ever will be.
So this has been a really hard place to parent from. I imagine if I get all the way better things will become easier.
But what I am trying to see if anyone here has overcome is the belief that we need to worry to keep our famlies safe.
My son just had what I guess is a flu- he had a pretty high fever for about 4 days, doctor said it seemed like a viral flu- I kept him home for a week and he just went back to school today. I am super glad his fever is gone but he is still a little under the weather, mostly tired. I know this is normal for a flu. But I find myself just still not being able to stop worrying about him. Like I literally think if I think- oh he is getting better- then he wouldnlt. It is a terrible way to live, not ever allowing myself to relax. I have a sister who has 6 kids and she says they get fevers and viruses and whatever people get, and she just doesnt worry- she knows they will be fine. But me, I worry.
Again, I am super grateful to have finally found some help with my severe chronic health issue-s but I am not all the way well in my body and still in a tight kind of feeling and other things. So this is all connected.
Has anyone else dealt specifically with the feeling of "having to worry to stay safe and keep family safe" and shifted that into a feeling of- "it is safe to be happy, it is safe to stop worrying?"

Hi, I can definitely resonate with a lot of what you have said. I appreciate lymes can cause a host of problems, I have ME so in a way similar.

I think as a parent you do spend your whole time worrying , but when it takes over that is when to seek help.

Have you spoken to a doctor or anyone else about this ? As that would be the first step to seeing what can be done. A doctor will more than likely say to have a form of cbt or offer some anti depressants. This is all good but I think sometimes therapy is very helpful as with a lot of mental health problems like this, there is sometimes a root problem. And once you have discovered the root of the problem you can realise what your triggers are for worrying.

It sounds like you have severe anxiety or OCD. Most people think ocd is stuff like cleaning but it really does differ....
I thought I had anxiety since I was a teenager but it turns out the obsessive worrying and intrusive nature of the 'anxiety' was intact a form of ocd. It may be worth having a look at that.

Sorry if my reply is a bit of a mess I'm half asleep today just wanted you to know you're not alon and worrying all the time is very mentally draining.

IveGotAlpen thank you for your kind words!

Pp is correct this is a form of OCD and I also have it. It's mostly about losing control, if you don't obsess/worry about it then you aren't able to control it am I right? Thing is that's all in your head, you're not controlling anything at all, which is a sucky realisation. The best thing for you to do would be to see your gp, describe what you're experiencing and you can be referred for CBT (you need that specifically not just talking therapy) and they could also recommend medication to help if you'd be interested. I've never taken the medication because the main of my "worry" is over health and germs etc so I over think what I put into my body. But the CBT is helpful to gain insight on it all and how your mind is tricking you.