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I’m a crap person and a crap mum

9 replies

NooNooHead1981 · 07/04/2019 23:44

I’m rubbish at life. I feel a bloody failure at the simplest of things. What seems to others to be easy, I muddle on through and pretend I can do it, but feel I am the person with the biggest imposter syndrome ever. I have quite a lot of self esteem and confidence issues that have always been lurking in the background, but the past few years have magnified them somewhat.

I have 2 beautiful DC but feel very knackered most of the time, and I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since DS was born 10 months ago. He was combination fed from birth, and I breastfed him until he was 7 months. I’m co-sleeping with him and being woken twice to 3 times a night, and I give him milk to get him back to sleep. He is a brilliant eater and he is never really hungry during the day. I’m doing most of the night shifts as my DH is away 3 days a week, works full time and I haven’t worked since August 2017.

I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome in 2015, and then got an incurable and untreatable drug induced involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia. I’m constantly worried about finding a job, and getting pregnant with my DS was a relief (and made me so happy as I had wanted anpther child for nearly 7 years since DD was born).

I’m always thinking ‘why me?’ Why did my life end up like this? I have had a really difficult few years health wise, have lost my DB to cancer at aged 35, lost my job, had an ectopic pregnancy, and am always feeling pretty depressed and worthless. If it wasn’t for my family, I would be looking for a high building with open windows.

I’m sure it is just a lack of sleep that is making me feel like this. I know these things will pass but it is so hard sometimes. Sad

OP posts:
NooNooHead1981 · 07/04/2019 23:46

Sorry for the nonsensical post and sentences in there - the lack of sleep is making me write rubbish! Wink

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Amara123 · 07/04/2019 23:51

You're not a crap person! Life can really put us through the wringer at times and it sounds like it has been like that for you. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to feel a bit rubbish, just think that most people in your situation might feel like you do.
Be good to yourself. I'm also baby sleep deprived and things tend to feel worse because of that.

Snowymint · 08/04/2019 00:00

You sound like a good person... and very tired. Rest as much as you can and try to find comfort / contentment.... look at the sky flowers and trees. I bet you’re a really good mum

HoHoHolittlepea · 08/04/2019 00:09

It sounds like youve had a really toigh time, Have you ever thought about havibg cbt? I couod have written a lot of whqt youve written recently, it turns out as well as being an exhausted mum I have an anxiety disorder. Therapy is helping so much! I'd recommend it to anyone :)

NooNooHead1981 · 08/04/2019 00:59

Thank you all. I’m sure things will get better when my DS starts sleeping through the night! I’m hoping so anyway!

I agree about CBT... I think it probably would really help me process a lot of emotions properly.

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gluteustothemaximus · 08/04/2019 01:18

Lack of sleep is a killer. Mental health really suffers.

Everyone goes through shit. Some more than others though. Sometimes lots happen at once. It’s hard.

Whenever I feel down I go through all the things I'm grateful for and focus on as much positive things as possible. It will get better x

Mississippilessly · 08/04/2019 02:42

I'm sure you arent a ceap mum. Sleep deprivation is the fucking pits - it seems to me lots of people make a joke of it with new parents, my DS is 7 months and is a shite sleeper and uve for to say, I'm not laughing. I'm knackered. And is makes you see everything differently.
If you really are feeling suicidal please do see your GP. It isnt a failure on your part to admit are struggling. A failure would be to carry on and pretend it was ok - because that pretence can be knackering too.
It will get better. It really will.

JoMumsnet · 08/04/2019 11:10

Hi NooNooHead1981,

We're really sorry to hear how very low you're feeling - it sounds like you've been through such a tough few years.

We hope you don't mind, but when threads like this are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. There are lots of organisations listed there which can give you some support right now - Mind is a very good place to start. Please do take a look at the links.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We're going to move your thread over to our Mental Health topic now.

Sending good wishes. Flowers

NooNooHead1981 · 08/04/2019 13:06

Thank you all, for your very kind advice xxx

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