The first inclination that somethings not right....

[iwillbemummy]

I am struggling. Today is the first time I’ve admitted it. On the outside I am very lucky with life I have, amazing DH, toddler DS and pregnant with second baby, beautiful home and a career that is deemed as successful in my field.

However, it just doesn’t feel enough to make even the most daily tasks doable. I work from home often and I can go days without showering, brushing my teeth, washing my face etc. All household chores are so dragged out. I am getting into trouble at work due to not meeting deadlines. It’s like I have no motivation for anything anymore. I will spend days just browsing the net instead of working and then have to spend the nights doing work I have promised people.

I have made appointment with my GP next Friday, but I’m still a little lost as to why, how and where this is going to help.

I have had to go through IVF for my babies, and have really struggled the transition of returning to work after maternity as my workplace just don’t understand the demands of a working mum which is adding to my daily stress.

I suppose the purpose of my post is to ask....is this normal daily struggles for people and will the GP just think I’m being over sensitive to daily troubles, or is there something i need help with. I do t have anyone in my life with MH issues that I know of and feel so trapped.

Sorry for the typo’s, a little emotional typing . Also, sorry for the long post. Really appreciate anyone that has taken the time to read and respond.

Sorry to hear you're struggling. I often struggle in the same way, "little" things like showering seem insurmountable.

If you fancy, come and join us on this thread, we're all in the same boat.

Sounds an awful lot like me before I started sertraline.

I could be wrong but it sounds like depression. Therapy/anti-depressants might help.

Either way, the GP wont think you're over sensitive. You sound like you're really struggling with every day stuff, so dont feel like you're being over sensitive and this is normal. It isn't

Bravo for getting in touch with the GP.

I would suggest you also chat to your midwife.

I am/was in your position (30w with #3) and can truly empathise with where you are.

Whilst I’ve not been through IVF there is a known link between IVF pregnancies and depressive symptoms; something to do with relief at conception meaning the mother can’t feel she can complain/bemoan pregnant life lest she lose the baby etc (again please look this up).

IVF or no IVF feeling like this is common but does require address. Just don’t let GP fob you off with antidepressants.

Good luck and call the midwife x

I work from home and also find it incredibly easy to spend a whole day doing nothing, just wasting the day, and not having a shower or anything.

I'm not depressed at all! It's just too easy to faff around st home, especially if you work on a computer with the sweet sweet internet just a click away...

Thank you all for replying to my post, like I said I haven’t really shared my struggles with anyone in person and it’s so lovely to have even this dialogue.

Batsypatsy - I’ve read that thread today and it really made me realise that I’m not alone in how I feel but also that I need to acknowledge it. I think I’ve spent months trying to ignore that something’s not right and I’ve hit a bit of a wall with it this week.

Storm - your post made me cry for the first time about how I feel. Just the fact I think you’re right I’ve just tried to bury it. Thank you for your words of support.

Paul - I actually have my midwife appointment on Friday and will ensure to bring it up. I think the IVF process is so super charged and alongside juggling work and daily stuff it’s maybe got on top of me.

I didn’t feel at all like this during my maternity leave. I had so much more purpose in my year with my DS and I loved life. Now I dread just doing anything. An example is my sister has asked if I want to go for dinner tomorrow and my first reaction is that I have to wash my hair, make an effort etc. so what’s the point....I just want to curl up on sofa in my little safety bubble.

Molly - you’re completely right. And that’s what I’ve been telling myself that it’s just normal procrastination and it’ll pass. I’ve got to the point where I’m letting people down and not delivering work. It’s like I’m my own worse enemy and I don’t know why. Today I haven’t done what I promised I would do by yesterday which means I will have to work through the night tonight. And this isn’t the first time, this is a weekly thing.

Work are now acknowledging my lack of performance and I am starting to get in trouble for it. But even then, I can’t find the motivation to do what I need, it’s like a block. I’m probably sounding ridiculous, sorry

Just thought I’d check in and see if there’s anyone in the same boat or any advise really.

Currently working at my laptop and know I’m going to be here for some time

Absolutely same as me. Showering isn't a daily thing. Nor is brushing teeth. I can't even be bothered to open mail. Yet I get all the household chores done and look after my LO (7 months old). I've been on Sertraline and seeing a counsellor privately since Dec. I too never know when I am being overly sensitive to the daily grind or when it's more serious. And like you, outwardly it would seem that life is great.....

It's hard. One day at a time. Xxx

It’s that differentiation between the daily grind and something more that I only realised today is more important for me. You’re doing well to keep things ticking along woth the household stuff and little one.

My son is 19 months and he absolutely is number 1 priority. I’m quite regimented with his routine and development and don’t let things slip with him. The house is where I am barely keeping my head above water, but my DH has been amazing the last couple of months and picked up so much slack seeing where I’ve struggled (currently in my first trimester and fatigue and sickness is awful this time).

I did talk to my husband tonight about things and he was really caring, but did try and solutionise a little. It’s so hard trying to explain that there’s a block to what I know should be happening to what happens. I’ve never struggled with that before and it’s all a bit new to try and explain.

You’re right though, one day at a time x