unable to work because of mental health?

[Mumble29]

I have been off work for nearly 6 months due to having a breakdown and diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and anxiety disorder.
4 months were sick leave and I went back for a week before I realised I still wasn't ready ( was a TA in a primary school) work unfortunately were no longer supportive at that point so I just resigned. Last week I started a new job (again as a TA) but my anxiety got so bad I had a massive panic attack and had to leave and haven't been back since . I've always worked and have been a TA for the last six years but suddenly my confidence is shot to pieces and my anxiety is through the roof.
My local mental health team are useless, was meant to see them last week but appointment was cancelled at the last minute because my doctor went on sudden leave
I have supportive family so am lucky there but my husband is hinting that I will need to go back to work soon because of finances.
I feel so useless, my brain isn't working the way it should and I just keep crying all the time. I'm terrified that this is my life now and I'll never get better or be well enough to work again.
I have thought of suicide as a way out but the only thing stopping me is what it will do to my children i can't do that to them. I don't know what way to turn. Please tell me this gets better.
Sorry for the long post.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way I can relate to what you're saying. I feel like I have been letting work down this past few months because of my MH but have to stop and remind myself that my health comes first and everyone will be much happier in the long run if i take the time i need. I did go back too soon because of this guilt and lasted a week and was off again for a while.. It must be difficult if you feel pressurised because of financial issues and I'm sorry your last employers were unsupportive. It will get better and you will be happy with life again. Try again with the mental health team/GP.