I am a mug - and one about to have an anxiety attack over this

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon]

I am prone to anxiety attacks at the moment due to assorted stressors, including my Dad having worsening dementia and funding for his care being up in the air.
Normally I manage to hold things together OK, but in times of stress the anxiety attacks hit, and they're not nice to put it mildly.

Given the above, I forgot all the MN wisdom of 'no is a complete sentence/ not my circus, not my monkeys', behaved like a complete wimp and caved to the pressure (in my head) of helping out at the next PTA event, which apparently will not go ahead unless the parents step forward. Chair of the PTA is also incredibly stressed about it all and worried that there aren't enough volunteers to cover as it is.

The last time I helped - doing something that should have been really easy - it ended up being an utter disaster, with me running round like a headless chicken providing emergency allergy-friendly cakes for the cake sale at the last minute (due to no notification of complex allergy requirements and not being able to guarantee allergen-free goods for all children as they were all home-baked) and feeling utterly exhausted afterwards.

Event is now looming - immediately following meeting with funding authority as it transpires - and I fear the worst. If I pull out now I'll be letting everyone down including saintly organisers who put up with so much; if I don't and it all goes pear-shaped (again), there's a serious risk of my breaking down in public and therefore being a colossal embarrassment to myself and daughter.

Knowing full well that I've made my own bed and must both lie in it and castigate myself for being a mug, what on earth to do?

Can you rope someone in to assist you?

What does the helping involve? Can you outsource at all?

What is your assigned task

Planning. Trying to anticipate things that could go wrong, helping out with this event and hopefully feeling good about it afterwards, then taking a step back for your next one. Trying to limit the scope of your task (you're not responsible for the success of the event overall, just your bit). And what Wolfiefan said.

*the next one

You don't have to run around like a headless chicken. For example if there are no allergen free cakes then there are no allergen free cakes. I say this as a parent of a child with severe allergies.

You don't have to fix or rescue anything. You can smile, nod, take the money, pick up the rubbish or whatever. I recommend actively seeking out the jobs with minimum responsibility at all times during the event.

Offering sympathy and a tapping technique that helps me with my anxiety attacks.
https://www.thetappingsolution.com/blog/overwhelm-calm-tapping-meditation/
There's an app and a free anxiety meditation. Sounds wacky but it really does help me (I found it at a very low point and tried it out of desperation)
Good luck with the PTA event, often the thought of it is worse than actually getting stuck in and doing it.

Tell us more about what you need to do and we will help you plan it all out

Supermarkets sell a lot of minimally allergenic products nowadays. Just saying.

Ask them for/suggest more of a backseat task because you have a lot going on. That would be perfectly okay IMO. You are not solely responsible for its success. Do put your needs forward.

The saying goes if you want something done ask a busy person!

I don't think it's up to you to ensure there are allergen-free cakes on the cake stall. Just make sure you have notices about to stating that the cakes are not allergen-free. I can't see any point in dashing off to a supermarket to buy special cakes for a cake sale.